Swallow, my sister, O sister swallow,
How can thine heart be full of the spring?
A thousand summers are over and dead.
What hast thou found in the spring to follow?
What hast thou found in thine heart to sing?
What wilt thou do when the summer is shed?
O swallow, sister, O fair swift swallow,
Why wilt thou fly after spring to the south,
The soft south whither thine heart is set?
Shall not the grief of the old time follow?
Shall not the song thereof cleave to thy mouth?
Hast thou forgotten ere I forget?
Sister, my sister, O fleet sweet swallow,
Thy way is long to the sun and the south;
But I, fulfilled of my heart's desire,
Shedding my song upon height, upon hollow,
From tawny body and sweet small mouth
Feed the heart of the night with fire.
I the nightingale all spring through,
O swallow, sister, O changing swallow,
All spring through till the spring be done,
Clothed with the light of the night on the dew,
Sing, while the hours and the wild birds follow,
Take flight and follow and find the sun.
Sister, my sister, O soft light swallow,
Though all things feast in the spring's guest-chamber,
How hast thou heart to be glad thereof yet?
For where thou fliest I shall not follow,
Till life forget and death remember,
Till thou remember and I forget.
Swallow, my sister, O singing swallow,
I know not how thou hast heart to sing.
Hast thou the heart? is it all past over?
Thy lord the summer is good to follow,
And fair the feet of thy lover the spring:
But what wilt thou say to the spring thy lover?
O swallow, sister, O fleeting swallow,
My heart in me is a molten ember
And over my head the waves have met.
But thou wouldst tarry or I would follow,
Could I forget or thou remember,
Couldst thou remember and I forget.
O sweet stray sister, O shifting swallow,
The heart's division divideth us.
Thy heart is light as a leaf of a tree;
But mine goes forth among sea-gulfs hollow
To the place of the slaying of Itylus,
The feast of Daulis, the Thracian Sea.
O swallow, sister, O rapid swallow,
I pray thee sing not a little space.
Are not the roofs and the lintels wet?
The woven web that was plain to follow,
The small slain body, the flowerlike face,
Can I remember if thou forget?
O sister, sister, thy first-begotten!
The hands that cling and the feet that follow,
The voice of the child's blood crying yet
Who hath remembered me? who hath forgotten?
Thou hast forgotten, O summer swallow,
But the world shall end when I forget.
-Itylus, by Algernon Charles Swinburne
The alarm went off and Joe rolled over and slapped the off switch. Blearily he opened his
eyes, taking in the sun-drenched bedroom. "Morning," he muttered, closing his eyes again
and snuggling up the warm body next to him. He'd face it in a minute. Or two.
The warm body in his arms scooted closer into his embrace,
and he felt more than heard the
satisfied sigh. There was a soft mumble which was meant to be a return "Morning", then he
felt Levon slipping back to sleep again.
Joe sighed and buried his face in his husband's hair. Looked
like they were going to be
getting another late start today. Not that it mattered much, not the way that it used to.
They'd been retired from the HPD for nearly five years now and the frantic rush of early
mornings were a thing of the past.
They had continued to rise relatively early, Levon said he
found it hard to sleep with the
sun up. In the last year or so, Joe had managed to get him to see the value of sleeping in.
This was the first summer they were able to really stay in
as long as they liked. Up until
two months ago they'd still had two horses needing to be fed and tended to. Angie and her
husband had finally finished building a second barn on their property and had come out to
take them -- the horses belonged, more or less, to Angie's children anyhow. Though he
hadn't said so to Angie, Levon had been sorry to see them go. All his life he'd had horses
around him, and considered them part of the extended family.
Now all they had to see to in the morning were feeding the
cats. That could wait a little
longer, no matter what the opinion of the felines in question was.
It had made the last couple of months seem like a vacation,
or so his husband had said,
laughing that first morning they'd risen at nearly nine. Joe had enticed him back into bed,
and they'd ended up leaving the bedroom at nearly ten thirty.
But it still felt odd, to lie in bed when for so long there
had been things to do. They
still had plans, obligations, but it was different when they were only voluntary.
Now they could take the time for themselves. Finally. Joe
supposed they ought to stop
setting the alarm as well, but the bullet-proof alarm clock was a remembrance of an old
friend now long gone. Letting it ring each morning was a way of acknowledging the gift
he'd made. Besides, it was more fun to sleep in if you *knew* you were sleeping in.
Sleeping in was fine -- wonderful even. The first few weeks.
But by now Joe found himself
at a loss for what he wanted to *do*. Levon seemed content to do little, himself. They'd
stopped working with the Houston Youth Center last year, and despite having discussed what
else they might do, nothing had been decided.
The summer was promising to be long, hot, and motionless.
Joe decided he'd probably better
get out of bed before he got poetic about the humidity.
Laughing silently at himself for that thought, he nuzzled
at Levon's cheek, attempting to
wake his lover in a more pleasant way than that alarm clock.
He heard a murmur, and Levon shifted slightly. He didn't seem
awake yet, however. Over
the years Joe had gotten skilled at detecting when Levon was faking it, hoping for more
nuzzling, and when he was truly still asleep. This time it was the latter. No matter. It
wasn't like what he was doing to wake Levon was much of a chore.
"Come on cowboy," he muttered, nuzzling again. "Up and at 'em."
Another murmur, and Levon rolled a little, moving his face
towards Joe as if seeking a
kiss. No doubt he was -- but he was still sound asleep. Joe complied with the unconscious
desire, lowering his head and gently nibbling at his husband's lips. Asleep or not, Levon
kissed him back eagerly.
As the kiss continued, Joe slid one hand into Levon's hair,
the other pulling their bodies
closer together. He was rapidly forgetting what the original aim of the kiss had been.
A third face stuck itself into Joe's.
Joe jerked back in surprise. "Dreyfuss!" he yelled
at the cat who was now giving him an
Dreyfuss climbed down off them as Levon moved. "Joe, what're you doing?"
He sat up, still glaring at the cat. "Was trying to kiss
you awake before this one decided
he needed a closer look."
Levon gave Dreyfuss a curious look, then turned to Joe. "Kiss
me awake, huh? So why'd you
stop?" He leaned closer as he asked.
"Well, you're awake," Joe pointed out, even as he leaned closer himself, grinning.
"Oh?" Levon leaned back. "Well, if that's all
you're after...." He turned and swung his
legs out of bed -- moving slowly enough for Joe to catch him, if he so chose.
Which Joe did, tackling him around the waist and pulling him
back onto the bed. "We can
always find something more interesting to do now that you are."
"Only if you kick the cats out," Levon pointed out
even as he let Joe settle him back onto
Lifting his head, Joe saw that Dreyfuss had been joined by
the other cat, Robelo, and that
both were sitting watching them avidly. "Hold that thought," he said to Levon, giving him
one more quick kiss then got up to shoo the animals out of the bedroom.
Naturally they thought he was getting up to feed them, so
they ran eagerly ahead of him
into the hallway. He paused in the act of shutting the door; if he didn't actually feed
them, they'd be back at the door caterwauling until he did. "Be right back," h e shot over
his shoulder, then padded out to the kitchen to make sure they had some uninterrupted time.
Behind him, he could hear Levon laughing. The sound of it
warmed him as much as the summer
air coming in the windows they'd left wide open all night.
They spent a long, pleasurable morning in bed, making love
with the enthusiasm of men half
their age. Levon fell back asleep afterward and Joe just laid there watching him. Taking
the quiet moment to count his blessings and marvel at how lucky he was.
Levon finally opened his eyes and smiled up at him. "We
gonna have a shower and breakfast
first this time, or you gonna wear me out again?"
"Shower sounds good. But it's going to be more like lunch than breakfast."
"Whose fault is that?" Levon levered himself out
of bed, moving slowly towards the
bathroom. He stretched a little, but said nothing.
Joe followed, wrapping his arms around Levon from behind.
"A bit too much enthusiasm
"Feels like. Maybe I should get someone to rub me down."
He leered at Joe. "Then again,
wasn't that what got me sore in the first place?"
"How about I brush you after lunch?" Joe offered,
dropping a kiss on his husband's
"I think we'd better get a move on, then." Levon tugged him towards the shower.
They nearly used up the hot water before ending the shower
and getting dressed. Well, Joe
got dressed - lately, Levon opted to go without as often as he went with, unless they were
expecting non-family visitors. Joe couldn't think of any reason to object. Even after so
many years, he found the sight of his husband's body to be a wonderful thing.
The look he got from Levon as they headed for the kitchen
told him it was one reason his
husband went around without clothing.
"So what do you want to eat?" he asked, opening
the fridge and studying the contents
"Don' care," Levon said, as he headed over to the
coffee maker. He began preparing a pot
of coffee, stopping once or twice to glance back at Joe.
"What?" Joe asked as he turned back to the fridge
and decided on sandwiches. Simple,
filling and he wouldn't have to cook.
"Nothing," came an all-too-innocent reply.
"Yeah, right. Come on, cowboy, what is it?"
Before Levon could answer, the sound of a car pulling up outside
diverting both of their
attentions. It was soon followed by Laurie's voice calling out a "hello?" and the sound of
the front door opening.
"In the kitchen," Joe called out, quickly straightening
and putting the sandwich fixings
down on the counter. Then he turned to greet their guests as they came through the kitchen
Laurie had to set her son down as soon as they entered --
he ran over to Joe as soon as he
saw him, calling out "grandpa!". Laurie went over to Levon, gave him a hello and a kiss on
the cheek. "Here, dad, let me do that. You always make the coffee so strong."
Levon grinned, but moved away from the counter. "Comes
from drinking too much weak coffee
at the station."
"Lots of times calling it coffee at all was being generous,"
Joe agreed, grinning down at
the little boy attached to his leg. "Heya there, Jack, buddy. You're just in time to help
me make lunch."
"Cool!" the boy jumped up and down, reminding Joe
of the time Shensen had stayed with them.
Jack was only a year older than Shensen had been, though his centaur heritage made him look
nearly six. They'd never figured out exactly how much human and how much centaur the child
was; whenever Joe asked Laurie about the boy's father she would just smile and tell him it
was none of his business.
Levon was leaning against the counter, watching everything
with a content smile on his
face. Joe grinned back to him. "So what brings you two by?" he asked Laurie as he bent to
pick up his grandson and set him on the edge of the counter.
Laurie grinned. "Since when do we need a reason? I asked
Jack what he wanted to do today,
and he said "go visit grandpa and granddad". So here we are." She finished preparing the
coffee, glancing over at Levon.
He smiled back at her with a faintly odd look in his eyes.
"Y'all are always welcome to
stop by, you know that."
"Yeah. We're always glad to see you. Both of you." He winked at Jack who giggled.
"Can we come tomorrow, then, too?" Jack asked brightly.
He'd been angling for permission
to spend a week or more with them, during the summer holidays. So far his mother hadn't
given him permission to stay more than a night.
"You'll have to take that up with your mother."
Joe looked over at his daughter as he
"We'll see," she said, in that tone that told them
all that the answer would be no, but she
wasn't going to discuss it right then. Jack frowned at his mother, but didn't argue.
"So what do you want on your sandwich, kid?" Joe
asked, distracting the boy away from the
It was a successful technique. They were able to keep the
discussion on other things
throughout lunch, although Joe knew Jack wouldn't have forgotten about it. He didn't envy
Laurie dealing with Jack when he decided he'd waited long enough and started wheedling.
It made Joe think Jack was a little more human than centaur.
After lunch, Levon offered to take Jack outside for a run.
Laurie agreed after a split
second's hesitation, so brief that Joe wondered if he imagined it.
Laurie began helping him clear the table, and it was soon
obvious she had something on her
mind. She had never been on to speak her mind unprovoked, however -- too much like her
fathers that way.
"Okay, out with it," Joe finally said, pausing in
his clearing. "I know you want to talk to
me about something. What is it?"
She sighed, and looked at him squarely. "You don't want to hear it."
Which meant, of course, he did. He sighed and pushed a hand
through his hair. "You
obviously need to tell it, even if I don't want to hear it. So tell me. What's wrong? You
in trouble, Lor?" He was thinking of the last time she'd start a conversation this way.
She'd told them about being pregnant with Jack.
"Me? No. I'm not in any trouble." She was looking
at him, almost measuringly. "Dad...
have you made any plans yet?"
Joe blinked. "Plans?"
"Plans. For--" she nodded towards the front door.
"A new door?" he asked, still bewildered.
"Why would I need to make plans for...?" He trailed
off as he realized what she was talking
about. Plans for Levon when he started to decline. To get old. "That's a bit premature,
don't you think?"
Her eyebrows went up in genuine surprise. "No, I don't think," she said carefully.
"Dad..." she began, then shook her head. "You
don't see it, do you?" Her tone was
"See what? There's nothing to see," Joe denied,
clenching his hands tightly to keep them
She set down the plate she'd been holding, and came over and
took his hands in hers. "I
know; I don't want to lose him either. But that won't--"
Joe jerked his hands free. "He's fine!"
"He's not going to stop getting older because you don't want him to!"
The words froze him in his tracks.
In a gentler tone, she said, "Do you want me to help
you decide what to do when the time
"It's too soon," he whispered, half denial, half plea.
She moved closer, putting her hand on his arm. "It'll
always be too soon. But that won't
change the fact that it's happening. It's going to happen."
"Not yet." He looked up and met his daughter's eyes. "It can't-- *I* can't-- Laurie..."
"You're going to have to, you know," but her tone
was capitulating. She leaned over,
resting her head on his shoulder and held him. "Otherwise, one day you'll look over and
he'll already be gone."
He held onto her tightly for a moment, trying to get his composure
back. "I did make some
decisions," he finally offered haltingly. "Before you were born."
"But you haven't done anything," she asked, looking
at him, confused. "You haven't said a
word about how you're going to take care of him."
"I'll do whatever I have to. What else can I do?"
"And you'll ask, when you need help?"
'I won't need help,' Joe thought but didn't say. Levon was his husband. His responsibility.
"Dad." Laurie looked at him, squarely again. Joe
had to remind himself that his daughter
probably knew him too well. "You will *ask*, when you need help, right?"
"If I need help, I'll ask."
She eyed him, her expression reminding him of Levon. "If
I find out you're pulling some
ancient, macho Italian bullshit and acting like you don't need help," she said, "I am going
to call Angie. And Shensen, Rosa, Tony, Taylor, even Cordelia and Montgomery." She took a
breath, then started listing more relatives. "Catherine, Stuart, Mike--"
"All right!" Joe interrupted with half a laugh.
"I get the picture. No need to name off the
entire herd and LaFiamma clan."
Finally she smiled. "You realize, don't you, that there
are a hundred and twelve people
who would help, if you ask?" She glanced towards the front door again. "I know it's hard.
But he's our family, too. It isn't fair to keep him to yourself."
"I know." He reached out and tugged her ponytail,
just like he used to when she was still a
child. She giggled, sounding for a moment like a five year old again. "You were right," Joe
told her, serious again. "I didn't want to hear it. But maybe I needed to."
"So what are you going to do? Until then, I mean?"
The way she asked made him wonder what
she knew. How she knew.
"What am I going to do? Go on with our lives. Until we-"
He bit off the rest of the
sentence as his throat threatened to close up around the words.
"I mean, practical things. Are you going to--" She
stopped, shook her head. "Maybe it is
too early for that. I guess...you'll know, when it's time to do something." She gave him a
kiss on the cheek, then turned away. "I'm going to go see if I can catch up with them."
Suddenly Joe understood her worry -- why she hadn't let Jack
stay, why she has almost
stopped her young son from something as simple as a run with his grandfather. "Feel like
having a rider?" Joe asked, feeling the sudden need to see Levon, to be near hi m.
"Of course." There was a shadow of Levon in her
expression again. The one that said Joe
was silly for even asking.
They walked out onto the porch and Laurie began to strip in
preparation to changing. Joe
found himself blushing and averting his eyes. He'd long since got used to centaur ways
about clothing, but somehow it was different when it was his daughter.
She started laughing -- as usual. "Dad! You are so..."
"So what?" he challenged.
"So sweet." In a decidedly bemused tone, she said, "It's safe, you can look now."
He turned back only to see his daughter standing there, still
in human form but sans
clothes. "Laurie!" he yelled, squeezing his eyes shut.
She laughed, loud and hard. He heard her step down from the
porch, then a moment later she
said "I'm changed, now. Honest, this time."
He cracked an eye cautiously, when he saw her in centaur form,
he opened them both and
started down the steps. "Very funny, brat. Make your father blush."
"Well, it's so much fun," she retorted. "And
easy. You know, you'd think after thirty
years of being married to a centaur...."
"I don't blush when Levon does it," he pointed out.
"Actually, dad, you do."
"Do not!" he countered, moving to her side. "Do I?"
She grinned, and nodded. "You do. Come on, get on already.
Don't worry," she added, as
he climbed on. "You look cute."
"Cute," he muttered, swinging astride. "My daughter thinks I'm cute."
"You're both cute," she said indulgently.
"I don't think you're supposed to think that."
"Dad! I don't mean it like *that*. I mean, you are, sure,
but I don't mean it that way."
She began cantering out into the pasture.
"You positive?" he teased.
"Dad, you're old and married. There is no way I'd call you "cute" that way."
"I'm not *that* old," he countered, the comment
holding a bit more of an edge than he had
intended after their earlier conversation.
There was a pause, then, "I'm sorry," Laurie said.
She sped up a bit, heading for the
field Jack loved best.
"I know, Lor," he said softly, squeezing her waist
in apology. "Let's go find our
She sped up into a gallop, then, and they headed off.
They'd spent a busy day with Laurie and Jack. Although nothing
had been planned, and, when
he thought back on it, there didn't seem to be any one thing which had taken up their time
-- the day had flown past as they'd been constantly busy. They'd had an early dinner, then
Laurie and Jack had headed for home and Levon -- casually and unobtrusively -- had excused
himself to take a nap. Joe had remained in the kitchen, cleaning up.
It occurred to Joe that Levon had been doing that a lot lately
-- taking naps. He hadn't
thought anything of it, it wasn't like they had something to do that Levon's sleeping was
interfering with -- but in light of the conversation he'd had with Laurie t hat morning...
Stop that, he told himself firmly, denying the possibility.
Hell he'd been taking naps too
and he wasn't...
His brain refused to complete that thought. It was as if he
didn't say it, didn't think it,
then it couldn't be true. He wouldn't have to face it. He knew it was a defensive
mechanism, that avoidance didn't stop reality. But he couldn't stop doing it. It was easier
than admitting the truth. Easier than facing what that truth meant.
He managed to finish the kitchen without giving in to thinking
about it -- difficult though
it was. Then, in defiance to his own rebellious brain, he went to look in on Levon.
For a long moment he stood in the bedroom doorway, just watching.
Soaking up the memory
for...well just in case. The sunlight was still streaming in through the window; in another
half hour it would have fallen far enough below the trees outside that the bedroom would
become dark, cast into a false night. Joe was suddenly gripped by a fear of that darkness
-- as if knowing Levon would only live with the sunlight on his face.
"Stop it!" Joe ground out, clenching his fists.
Without thought, he found himself across
the room, standing by the bed, staring down at his husband's face. Eyes closed, features
relaxed in repose.... Suddenly it wasn't Levon asleep that he was seeing. It was Levon--
Abruptly he spun away, breath coming in gasps as he fought a sudden panic.
The soft, sleep-muddled voice almost sounded like it was only
in his mind. A shudder went
through Joe and he moaned involuntarily, lost in a fantasy, a reality -- he wasn't even
sure which any more.
Then he felt a hand on his back, and he nearly jumped. "Joe?"
Levon asked again, and this
time his voice was real.
With a gasp, Joe spun back around, pulling his husband into
his arms, burying his face
against the faded blond hair as shivers went through his body over and over.
After a moment of silence, he heard, "Easy, easy, now."
Levon held him close, arms as
tight around him as they'd ever been. No signs of failing strength there...not now. Not
The thought calmed him down but made him hold on all the tighter.
Levon didn't seem to mind; if anything he tightened his grip
slightly and simply held Joe.
He continued to whisper things soft and meaningless in Joe's ear -- confused reassurances
that whatever had gone wrong could be righted. Joe barely restrained a slightly hysterical
laugh at that; this was the one thing that they couldn't fix.
After a few moments, Levon's murmurs quieted, and, after another silence, he asked, "Joe?"
"Yeah." He took a deep breath and pulled back. "Sorry."
He prayed Levon would leave it at
that, knowing there was a snowball's chance in a Texas summer that he would.
He found his husband looking at him, worry bright in his eyes.
The question was plain on
his face, but he only raised a hand to wipe at Joe's cheek.
Joe reached up and covered Levon's hand with his own, holding
it in place. "Sorry," he
repeated in a whisper.
"Anything I can do?"
'Don't leave me.' The words were on the tip of Joe's tongue
but he didn't say them. Instead
he managed a weak smile. "You're doing it."
Levon gave him a gentle smile, tinged with an awareness Joe
suspected meant he knew what
had him so rattled. But Levon only pulled him back into an embrace and held him again.
"I didn't mean to wake you." The softly spoken words
were offered as an apology, though Joe
made no move to pull back again.
"S'allright. Didn't mean to sleep the evening away, anyhow."
"I don't mind. If you're tired."
"Ain't tired anymore," Levon replied lightly. There
was an undercurrent to his words,
which Joe didn't want to pursue. "Reckon you're finished with the kitchen?" he added
lightly, as if getting out of the chore had been his only reason for napping.
Joe wished he could believe that. He tried really hard. "Yeah,"
he replied, managing to
match his husband's light tone. "No thanks to you."
"Can I help it if my timing's good?" Levon grinned.
It made him look 30 -- or four --
Again Joe found himself catching his breath, but for an entirely
different reason. A better
reason. "Yeah, yeah. Y'know there are times I really miss being able to order you around,"
"Then what do you call yesterday?" Levon teased.
"Yesterday?" Joe gave him a blank look.
"When you 'ordered' me to get my tail out to the barn
and help you load up the stuff Angie
and Shensen had left behind for the horses?" Levon was smiling, still, but when Joe didn't
reply, a shadow flickered in his eyes. His smile faltered and there was the slightest hint
of doubt there.
The fear that had faded somewhat came rushing back full force.
Joe couldn't stop that fear
from being conveyed through his body language.
"Wasn't it?" Levon asked after a moment of hesitation.
Joe wanted to lie, wanted to deny both of them the truth,
but he couldn't. Not with Levon
looking at him like that.
Slowly he shook his head.
He felt Levon's hands fall away, then Levon took a half step
back. He could see his
husband beginning to tremble. "I remember it," he began in a harsh, forced whisper then he
cut himself off.
It was Joe's turn to move forward, offering what comfort he
could with his body and his
words. "It happened," Joe reassured him, holding him tightly. "Just not yesterday."
"When?" came Levon's confused question.
There was no immediate response. Levon had his head pressed
against Joe's shoulder, as if
seeking solace from the truth in his lover's presence. In a rush, Levon finally said, "I
knew I'd been forgetting things but I always noticed...knew what I'd forgotten. I didn't
realize I mighta been losing things and not even know." The lost tone in his husband's
voice ripped at Joe's heart.
"You just forgot you forgot," Joe said, trying for
a lighter tone and failing. He sighed
and pressed a kiss against Levon's hair. "It doesn't matter, Levon. If you forget, I'll
remember for you. You've done it enough for me over the years."
He could still feel Levon shaking. "How am I gonna know?"
"I'll tell you. Trust me, cowboy." He kept his voice
soothing even though somewhere inside
he was screaming.
With that, Levon finally wrapped his arms back around Joe,
and held on. Joe didn't say
anything, just held on as tightly as he could. For as long as he could.
"Don't let me go," Levon asked softly.
"Never," Joe whispered, through a throat that was closing up. "I promise."
He seemed to relax a little then, though he made no move from
Joe's embrace. For a long
time, they simply stood there.
The next morning started earlier than their days had been
recently. They were heading out
to the herd's ranch today to stay for the weekend -- or as much of the weekend as they
cared to. Joe wasn't certain how well Levon would be able to deal with the chaos they would
find at the ranch: an extra fifty visitors was a lot more to handle than the usual herd.
But this was a special weekend, the annual reunion holiday
that Stuart had begun about ten
years before. All of the family, both herd and humans did their best to make it to the
They'd told Stuart he was nuts when he'd first proposed it.
That first year it was only
Joe and Levon and their family, and a few close friends. But in the years that followed the
reunions grew larger until now nearly the entire Lundy and LaFiamma clan s gathered
Joe tried to ignore the little voice in his head that kept
whispering that this could be
their last one.
"Joe?" a voice interrupted his darkening thoughts.
Levon sounded cheerful, had all
morning. Either last night's events had rolled off him, or he was putting up a very good
front. "Any more bags?"
"No, I think this is it," he replied, gesturing to the small pile by the door.
He watched as Levon glanced down at the bags, then seemed
to stop and count them. He gave
Joe a slightly quizzical look before ducking his head and going to pick two of the bags up.
Joe picked up the others and started for the door. Levon stepped
to the side, to let Joe
precede him out. Joe glanced at his husband curiously then moved past him and outside. He
didn't want to know why his husband needed to follow him out....
He felt a ghost of a touch on his backside as he stepped past.
When he looked back, he
found an old familiar expression of innocence staring back at him. "You know that look has
"Ain't trying to make it work now," he pointed out
in a reasonable tone. "But if I looked
like I was up to something, you'd worry."
"I have news for you cowboy. That *is* the look you wear when you're up to something."
Levon just grinned at him, and set the bags down to open the
back of the truck. He held
out his hand for the ones Joe was carrying. "I'll have to keep that in mind," he said in a
light tone, but the shadows that appeared in his eyes as he spoke made Joe shiver.
He helped Levon load the truck, then caught his hand and pulled
him into his arms. His
husband gave him a small, pleased smile as he settled into the embrace. Joe kissed him and
sighed. "If we didn't have to get to the ranch..."
"We in a hurry? I reckon they can start without us," Levon offered.
"And take a chance at missing whatever this year's big bombshell is?" he asked.
"Maybe if we aren't there to hear it, we can pretend it didn't happen?"
Along with the tradition of gathering, there had developed
somehow the tradition of
someone, each year, delivering news. One year it had been Angie and Shensen announcing
their betrothal. Another year it had been Laurie announcing her pregnancy.
One year it had been Vinnie, simply showing up.
"I don't think it works that way," he said in answer to Levon's question.
"Too bad." Levon grinned, and made no effort to move out of Joe's arms.
"Can't help but notice neither of us are moving."
"Whose fault is that, oh dominant one?" From the
way Levon grinned, Joe knew it wasn't a
slip of the tongue. Thus, he was able to laugh in response.
"I'll move if you move."
So Levon moved. Closer. Kissed him again.
Joe kissed him back, closing his eyes and relishing the sensations.
"That wasn't what I had
in mind," he said huskily when their mouths parted.
"It wasn't?" The innocent look was back.
He laughed and shook his head. "I love you, cowboy."
"Love you, too. But you're right, we'd better get going...before we get going."
"Yeah. So why are we both still standing here?"
Levon shrugged. "You're the one driving." Still,
he made no move to as much as let go of
"I suppose we could sorta shuffle together closer to the doors..."
"How do you plan on reaching the gas pedal?" There
was a twinkle in Levon's eye which made
Joe's heart skip. Lively, loving, and mischievous. He hadn't seen it very often lately.
"Gas pedal? I'm still working on how we're going to get
in without letting go." He grinned,
letting the mischief in his husband's expression bring out a similar one in him.
Levon responded to that by kissing him again. A few moments
into the kiss and it became
clear that if someone didn't do something soon, they were going to be late.
The hell with it. They'd be late. "Nothing," he said and dived in for another kiss.
Levon didn't seem to notice the aborted attempt at practicality.
He grabbed onto Joe's
waist, deepening the kiss. Joe let his husband push him backwards, until the door handle
was digging into his back.
It definitely was breaking the mood. It didn't seem to be
affecting Levon, of course. Even
when Joe tried to gently nudge him backwards, so he could at least move sideways a bit,
Levon stayed glued to his front like... a sex-starved centaur.
Which he wouldn't have any problem with -- if the handle wasn't
trying to leave permanent
indentations in his back. "Levon..." he began but didn't get any further as Levon kissed
When hands found their way to his jeans, he realized it was
time to either stop or accept
the new dent in his back.
"Levon," he repeated again, pushing a little harder.
"Hmm?" There was a faint note of awareness this
time. The hands kept moving, however,
until Joe put his hands over Levon's and stilled them.
"Would rather not make this a threesome with the truck, cowboy."
That brought his husband's head up. Levon looked at him, blinking
as he tried to process
Joe's words through an obviously offline brain.
"The door handle's digging into my back and you're not letting me move," he clarified.
"Oh." Levon nodded. He still didn't seem to be completely
tracking what Joe meant, as he
didn't move back to let Joe get away from the door handle. He blinked, then tilted his head
to the side, and with a faintly self-amused smile said in a clearer tone , "What?"
"You're pushing me into the door handle."
Immediately Levon stepped back, pulling Joe with him. His
smile turned sheepish. "Sorry."
He stood there for a moment, shifting slightly on his feet before asking, "Reckon we should
Joe grinned. "Isn't this where we were a few moments ago?"
"Promise to keep my hands to myself this time," Levon said almost solemnly.
Levon put his hands quickly back onto Joe's hips. Well, one
on his hip, the other back in
its previous spot right above Joe's groin. His husband's expression, however, made Joe
laugh. He looked like a kitten hopefully for a bowl of milk from the fridge you'd just
Joe leaned in for one last quick kiss then let go of Levon
and turned to open the door.
They managed to get into the truck without any more heavy
petting or groping. Levon gave
him a guarded look once, but said nothing. Just before Joe turned the ignition on, Levon
started to open his mouth. He closed it quickly.
He watched as Levon glanced quickly towards the back of the
truck. Then he suddenly he
realized what Levon was trying not to ask: had they packed everything.
Swallowing hard against the fear that once again swarmed up
over him, Joe tried for a
casual tone. "All packed, so let's get on the road."
His tone didn't fool Levon; he hadn't really expected it too.
Levon nodded shortly, and
turned to look out the window. Joe watched him for a moment, reached out and squeezed
Levon's shoulder in reassurance, since there was nothing he could say. Then he started the
truck and headed down the driveway.
The drive was quiet. Levon made no overtures at conversation,
and each time Joe said
something, Levon would respond quietly, simply, or not at all. Eventually Joe gave up and
concentrated on the drive. He hated the silence, hated even more the fact the fear that
seemed to be a third passenger in the truck.
Finally they turned onto the dirt wash which lead to the road
to the ranch. Levon seemed to
relax a bit as they draw near. In the distance Joe spotted the kids waiting to race their
truck in and felt his own mood lightening slightly. It was hard to stay depressed with that
kind of exuberance around you.
There were a few faces among the racers he hadn't expected
to see -- some of his own grand-
nieces and nephews, on top of bicycles, joining the race. Levon returned his grin when he
pointed them out.
"LaFiamma ingenuity," he declared as he slowed the truck and let the kids speed ahead.
"Vinnie must be here," was Levon's only comment.
Joe glanced at his husband; though he and Vinnie had reconciled
years earlier, Levon had
never quite forgiven the man and at the most there'd existed an uneasy truce between the
two. It pained him that they couldn't do more than agree to leave each other alone. There
had been a time when he'd been glad to never see his cousin again, himself. But that had
changed; Vinnie had changed. Now Joe found it comforting to have a connection to a part of
his family that was otherwise long gone.
But Levon had never been able to set aside what were too clear
memories of that first
winter in Chicago. Levon had explained to him once that as long as the memories of the
events remained so sharp, so did the memories of the pain. With uneasy guilt, Jo e wondered
if now Levon would be able to let go of that pain, finally.
He didn't have any more time to dwell on it however, when
he brought the truck to a halt in
front of the ranch house. There was quite a crowd waiting for them and both he and Levon
were surrounded the second they got out.
"Dad!" he heard, his only warning before he was being given a hug.
"Hi, Cordelia," Joe said, hugging her back tightly.
"Oh, it's good to see you! It's been far too long since
you two have been out here." She
gave him a cheerful smile.
"You always say that. Even if we've just been here a week ago."
"Well, it's always true!"
He laughed and hugged her again. "We've missed you too."
"Was the drive OK?" She glanced over as she asked,
a faint note to her question that made
it more than 'how was traffic?'.
"Why wouldn't it be? You expecting us to get sidetracked
by a crime in progress or
something?" The joke only sounded a little forced.
"Last time it was ice cream, wasn't it?" she pointed out.
Joe gave her a mock frown. "Now, Cordelia, I thought
we raised you better than that. You're
never to pass up ice cream."
"You brought ice cream?!" an excited voice broke
in. Joey turned to see Jenny, Cordelia's
daughter, had run up. The eight year old grabbed Joe's arm. "Did you?"
"I don't know," Joe said seriously. "Maybe we should look in the cooler."
As soon as the words had left his mouth, Jenny was gone, running
to the back of the truck,
only to find it had been well unloaded already. Dismayed but not thwarted, she began
looking around for a cooler.
Cordelia sighed. "Stuart says this sort of thing is all
your fault, dad. Something about
pixie sticks and chocolate cigars?"
"He's just sore that he didn't get any when he was a
colt. Kids need to be pumped full of
sugar every now and then. It's a rite of passage."
She gave him a dirty look, then smiled. "It's only because
I know how often you babysat a
herdful of hyperactive foals that I'm not going to argue with you on that one." She sighed
as Jenny ran up, pouting, then smiled at her daughter. "He might have been teasing, you
know," she said cheerfully.
"Now would I do that?" Joe grinned and winked at
his granddaughter. "The ice cream is for
after dinner, but I think I can probably find something for you now." He made a show of
patting his pockets down.
That was all she needed. The filly leapt forward and dove
directly for the inner jacket
pocket where he'd hidden the candy.
Joe laughed and braced himself against the enthusiastic retrieval.
She grinned when she came up with a small bag of her favorite
hard candy. Cordelia gave Joe
another dirty look. "Should I even mention what it does to her teeth?" The threat lost
its edge, however, with Cordelia's sidelong, hopeful glance towards said candy.
"You still have all yours," he pointed out reasonably,
digging out another bag for Jenny's
"No thanks to you," she replied, though she took
the bag quickly before Joe could pull it
She popped one in her mouth, then said, "Now that the
important stuff is out of the way,
Vinnie's out back."
Joe started to head that way, then stopped, looking back at
his husband uncertainly. Levon
was still on the other side of the truck, talking with Hannah, Corriane, and Justin. Joey
reflected that Justin must be almost old enough to foster out.
"He's fine," Cordelia said quietly, her hand on Joe's arm.
He glanced back at his daughter, seeing both knowledge and
compassion there. "Call if
"They'll keep an eye on him, dad. He's our family, too."
She gently nudged him towards
The reassurance helped loosen some of the tension in his muscles.
"Thank you," he said
softly before allowing himself to follow her urging and go search out his cousin.
It took him a bit to actually get around to the backyard.
Friends and family kept stopping
him to say hello. Finally, though, he rounded the corner and saw Vinnie. "Hey cuz," Joe
called out as he headed over to join him.
Vinnie broke into a wide smile as he turned. "Joey!"
They exchanged hugs, then Vinnie
gave him a friendly once over. "Life's treating you OK?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because last time we talked, you were...not so happy."
Vinnie shrugged. "But today you
seem all right."
Joe sighed and ran a hand over his face. "There's...situations
happening. But we decided to
try and enjoy the day." The rest of the sentence, 'because it may very well be the last
like it,' remained unspoken.
The way Vinnie nodded told him his cousin understood. "If
there is anything I can do.... I
know Levon probably won't want me around, but I can send Lou," he nodded towards his second
oldest son, standing at his side.
"Anything at all, Uncle Joey," Lou said sincerely.
"You know since I got to retire last
year I can make my own schedule." He grinned briefly, and for a moment he looked exactly
like his grandfather might have, had he left his business and made a pleasant way for
himself as the family since him had.
"I'll keep that in mind, kid. Thanks." It was starting
to sink in that he wasn't in this
Lou smirked. "Nobody but you calls me 'kid', Uncle Joey.
I've even got a grandkid of my
own, now." With that, he pulled out his wallet.
The conversation degenerated into new baby and how are the
new parents coping. Typical
first-grandchild fare. That segued into a comparison of all the babies born lately, and
the general state of the LaFiamma clan.
"You know, when we were young, I never thought there'd
be as many LaFiammas in Texas as
there are in Chicago."
"And now Susana is talking of moving down." Lou
flashed a grin. "Something about that
'young hunk Draper'. I swear, at this rate the LaFiammas and Lundys might as well just
consider themselves a single clan."
"Always wanted to start a trend," Joe said buffing his nails on his shirt.
"Yeah, generations from now will blame all this on you
and Levon." Vinnie thumped him
lightly on the shoulder. "Not enough I have one niece married to a centaur, I gotta have a
daughter marrying one as well." He grinned at the mare who had walked by in time to hear
She glared, then laughed with him. "Fresh blood is good for the herd."
"And for the Family."
"Speaking of which, how's Angie doing? Her little ones
still driving her batty?" Vinnie
asked, though Joe suspected he'd talked with his niece recently, himself. Even now,
though, Vinnie deferred to Joe as knowing more, as Angie's effective father.
"Mildly so." He grinned. "I keep telling her
to be grateful they inherited at least part of
the centaur obedience from their father."
Vinnie sighed. "I shoulda married a mare." His son looked offended.
"The LaFiamma stubbornness does tend to temper it a lot," Joe pointed out.
"If I didn't have kids of my own, dad, I'd resent that remark," Lou said.
"They gonna be here later?" Vinnie asked of Joey, ignoring his son's comment.
Joe laughed. "Angie hasn't missed a get together out
here since she and Tony came to live
"She hasn't missed this one, either," Lou said,
nodding. Joe looked over and saw Angie
coming around the house.
"Angie!" Joe yelled, calling her over.
She looked up, searched the crowd for a moment, then caught
sight of him. She made her way
over, and there was another round of hugging and how are yous.
"You're looking good."
"Thanks, you too. Shensen and Anthony are talking to
Levon -- I think they'll be there the
rest of the day, arguing about lures." She rolled her eyes.
"As long as they don't expect us to join in."
"After fifteen years, you'd think they'd believe us when
we say we don't like fishing. I'm
glad we finally had a son who likes it as well as those two -- for a while I thought
Shensen was gonna have Anna returned."
"If he'd tried, she would've just looked at him with
those big brown eyes and that would've
been the end of that."
"True," Angie laughed.
Joe hugged her again. "So come on, tell me what's been
going on that's kept you too busy to
"More of the same," she replied. "We've about
four mares almost ready for sale; and as
usual the waiting list is a half a dozen names long."
He smiled. "You're going to make that first million before you're thirty at this rate."
With an innocent look, she asked, "First?"
"Brat," Joe said affectionately.
"Well if Shensen wouldn't keep spending it," she
admitted, with another roll of her eyes.
Then, "I heard Laurie's going to Washington."
Angie's eyes grew wide. "Uh... she didn't tell you? Oh,
hell, I wasn't supposed to keep
quiet about that, was I?"
Joe looked at her for a moment, then turned on his heel, going
in search of Laurie. Behind
him he heard an "Oops," and Vinnie's muffled laughter.
It wasn't the first time he'd had reason to be thankful of
Angie's inability to keep a
secret. But it was the first time she'd let slip something so serious. Laurie leaving...
He found her talking to Jody, both of them being hung onto
and played on by several small
children. Joe nodded to Jody then turned to his daughter. "Can I talk to you?"
"Er, sure, why?" Laurie looked confused. Then she
caught sight of something behind him,
and looked immediately innocent. She handed two of the kids off to Jody, then followed Joe
a few steps away.
A quick look over his shoulder caught Angie just stopping
her gestures. He briefly rolled
his eyes then turned his attention back to Laurie. "Washington?"
"The state or the district?"
"You tell me. You're the one who's planning on leaving."
"That would be DC, then," she nodded calmly.
"When were you going to tell us?"
"Well, let's see, I'm going to be leaving next month,
for about two weeks. How much warning
do you need?"
He blinked. "Two weeks?"
She gave him a flat stare. "Yes, dad. Two weeks."
She waited, obviously not going to
give him any help wriggling out of this one.
"You could've said something the other day," he
muttered. "I'm getting too old for you to
be letting me jump to conclusions."
She giggled. "The exercise does you good. Besides, I
didn't want to say anything
then...Jack would've asked if he could stay with you two while I was gone, and--"
"And what? Even if Levon is getting a little forgetful,
we can still take care of our
grandson when needed."
"I know, dad, I just didn't know if you'd want to make
arrangements. To have someone else
at the house." She seemed uncomfortable, and Joe suspected he knew why. She would rather
leave her son with Angie and Shensen, if Joe wasn't able to take care of them both.
He wasn't willing to admit that he was going to be anything
but capable, but could
understand her worry. "How about we say we'll take him, and if...circumstances change..."
She looked at him levelly. "Dad, you know I love you
both, and I know Jack would love
nothing more than staying with you two. But wouldn't it be easier if he stayed with Angie
and Shensen? You two can go over there anytime, take him for the day a few times."
"You don't want to leave him with us." He wasn't
really prepared for how much that
She opened her mouth, then stopped. The hurt he felt was reflected
on his daughter's face.
In a tiny voice, she said, "I'm sorry, dad. You only just started admitting there was
anything *wrong* with Levon and he's been forgetting things for months, no w. I know you
would take excellent care of Jack. But I can't ask you to take care of Jack *and* Levon.
Not by yourself."
"You make it sound like Levon is-" Joe broke off,
still unable to put his worse fears into
Laurie bit her lip, making her look five years old. "Dad,"
she whispered. "He couldn't
remember how to make coffee."
Joe spun away. He didn't want to hear this. He couldn't--
As he turned, he caught sight of Levon. Standing with Shensen
and Cordelia, they were
talking. Levon was smiling, and as Joe watched he saw his husband laugh at something
Shensen said. When someone tugged on Shensen's arm, the centaur turned away to follow.
As he watched, another centaur stepped into Shensen's place.
Easily, as if simply milling
around talking with everyone present. Except when Cordelia was called away by her daughter,
another -- one of Joe's cousins, this time -- stepped into her place.
They were making sure Levon was never alone. Taking care of
him without being obvious about
He wondered if that explained why Levon looked so relaxed.
More relaxed than he had looked
in a long time. Joe wondered how much trying to pretend everything was normal had made
things harder for Levon.
A hand on his arm startled him. Laurie was looking at him,
understanding and something
else in her eyes. "He's known what's happening for a while hasn't he?" he asked.
"I think so. He's only talked to me about it once, after
he realized that I knew. For the
longest time, though, it was just little stuff. Things a human wouldn't even notice
forgetting." She glanced towards Levon, obviously trying to decide if she should continue.
Joe nodded slightly, urging her to. He needed to hear it. Even if he didn't want to.
She slipped her arm around his waist, inviting herself into
his embrace as if needing the
reassurance herself as much as offering it. "He told me not to tell you. But dad, he was
so scared. He tried to pretend he wasn't, but I could tell. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
But I couldn't. He told me not to."
"You finally did, though."
"I had to, dad. I...I've been trying for weeks to tell
you. I kept hoping it wouldn't be
necessary, that's you'd see...."
"He was hiding from me."
"I know." She looked up at him. "But you weren't looking very hard, were you?"
He gave a half shrug, still unwilling to admit how willfully blind he'd been.
They stood there in silence, both watching Levon. His husband
was still being carefully
surrounded by family -- never less than two, and never more than four after a group of six
had tried to converge and Levon's expression grew the slightest bit strain ed. Joe
recalled all the times members of the herd had grown old, that he'd been out to see how the
herd had treated them. Watching them as carefully, if not more so, than foals.
Seeing them treating Levon the same way brought home all the
harder what was happening.
That his time with Levon would soon be coming to an end.
He didn't realize his grip on Laurie had tightened, until
she started to move away. "Why
don't you go on now, Dad. Spend some time with him before the babies start hogging his
attention." She gave him a wink at the last, though the cheer hadn't quite reached her
Joe smiled back at her, knowing it didn't quite reach his
eyes either. Then he headed over
to join his husband.
David had just made the entire group burst into bellows of
laughter when he reached them.
Levon gave Joe a grin and reached for his hand. Joe squeezed Levon's hand, his own smile
turning more real. Determined to try and live in the moment. Levon was here now, and that
was the important thing.
"Hey, Joe, you got any stupid foal-- er, stupid youngster
stories you wanna confess to?"
David asked as the laughter eased enough for him to be heard.
"Me? I was the perfect child," he responded, grinning.
"Ain't what Rosa told me," his husband replied in an easy drawl.
"Well I didn't paint anybody blue like someone I could name."
There were snickers, and Marika shook her head. "No,
he already told us that one. If you
can't confess to your own misdeeds, you have to at least share *new* misdeeds of his."
Levon was trying to look offended. Nobody was paying him any mind.
Joe thought for a moment. "Did he tell you about when he ran off at Six Flags?"
There were nods. Levon grinned unrepentantly. "You could
tell 'em about the time you
ruined your Aunt's dinner, right before the entire family showed up for the meal," he
offered in a helpful tone.
*That* he remembers, Joe thought half grumpily. "That
wasn't my fault. Tony and Vinnie
"Yeah, and who was it forced you to add the salt to the
cake batter, as well?" There was a
delighted glint in Levon's eye that made Joe want to throw his arms around him and kiss him
He wondered if the topic of conversation had been deliberately
selected to make Levon look
so happy. "That was pure revenge. It was Vinnie's birthday cake." He mocked glared at
Levon, playing his part to the hilt. Anything to keep that look on Levon's face.
"Rosa said you claimed Tony did that part, too," Levon added thoughtfully.
"Well, yeah. Wouldn't you?"
"Luckily mama and pop believed me when I told them you
had done it," came Vinnie's
innocent-sounding voice from behind them.
"If you hadn't told Sara I liked her, I wouldn't have
had to do it in the first place," Joe
"Sara?" Levon's eyebrows went up. Then he frowned,
though his eyes were still dancing.
"You never mentioned anyone named 'Sara'."
"Ooo, you're in trouble now, Joey," Vinnie taunted.
Joe responded to that by calmly turning to his cousin and sticking his tongue out.
There were giggles throughout the group -- not a one of then
under the age of thirty. Which
was why, no doubt, the two five-year-old centaurs who were walking by stopped, looked at
them, then shook their heads with airs of maturity.
Which of course, just caused all of them to burst out into even more laughter.
"I hear that happens when you get older," one of
them said. "The mind--" she stopped
suddenly and paled.
Looking mortified she galloped off. Her companion stayed long
enough to stammer, "She
didn't mean..." before faltering to a halt then running after her friend.
An uneasy silence had fallen over the adults left behind.
Then Levon swore softly, and
turned to follow the kids.
Joe stood paralyzed for a moment longer then headed after
his lover. Levon stopped and
began removing his clothing. The kids could easily outrun them otherwise, on all four
feet. Around them Joe heard conversations rise and fall, some muffled, some wit h the faint
sense of urgency that told him within another five minutes everyone at the reunion would
know exactly what had happened.
Joe just held out his arm for Levon to balance on as he heeled
off his boots. Other than
that, he stood quietly as Levon stripped and changed. Joe stepped up onto a conveniently
placed stone, and settled onto his husband's back. Then Levon set out after the two kids.
They still remained silent, though Joe's mind was going a
mile a minute. Thoughts he'd been
trying to avoid looming up and refusing to be ignored any longer.
It wasn't hard to find the two fillies -- a couple minutes'
ride and Joe could see them.
Alana, the one who'd spoken, was standing with her head down. Liz was talking to her,
trying to convince her of something -- either that she was an idiot, or that i t was an
honest mistake. There was really no way to know, with those two.
They both looked up when Levon galloped up. Alana stepped
back behind her sister, not
looking up at them. Liz just looked worried. Levon came to a halt and considered them for
"She didn't mean anything, Levon, sir," Liz said earnestly.
"I know," Levon said gently. He took another step
forward. "Alana, honey, you didn't say
"But you- They told us-"
"They told you not to say anything about me forgetting."
Joe heard his husband laugh
quietly. "Saying we'd all lost our minds ain't the same thing." He held out his hand to
She took it tentatively. "I'm sorry."
"I know. You didn't mean anything by it," he said again. "Ain't no harm done."
"Truly." He gave the girl's hand a slight tug. "Come
on back now, Tory; folks'll be
wondering what we're up to."
Joe felt something inside clench at the slip. He watched confusion
cross the filly's face,
but with a glance up at his face it smoothed out. "Yes, Levon," she said obediently.
Liz fell into step beside them, as they turned back towards
the ranch. Nothing more was
said until they reached the yard immediate to the house. Joe saw that, while most of them
were hiding it, everyone was well aware of their return.
Stuart was openly watching. With a last glance up at Levon,
Alana let go of his hand and
ran up to her father.
Joe hugged his waist tighter. "You did a good thing, going after them, Levon."
"Couldn't rightly let her alone, could I?"
"Nope. Not you, cowboy."
Levon looked over his shoulder at him, and Joe could see that he was still worried.
"You did good," Joe repeated, trying to assure him.
"You OK with this?" he asked quietly. The question covered a thousand topics.
"I have to be." He forced a grin. "So I am."
"You know you don't have to...not talk about it."
There was fear in his husband's eyes
again, but for what, Joe wasn't sure. Fear that Joe would talk about it? Fear that he
Or just fear that he would forget? Laurie had said that Levon
had been scared, since this
had first begun. God, that had been weeks ago.... "Do you need to talk about it?" he
asked, hating the thought of Levon dealing with it by himself for so long. Terrified and
unable to say anything.
Levon shook his head, but turned a bit more, trying to reach
out for Joe. Joe slipped off
Levon's back and walked around so he could hold his husband.
"I'm here," Joe whispered. "I'm always going to be here."
Levon changed forms to rest his head on Joe's shoulder. "You'll
take care of me?" came the
soft question, light and half-uttered.
"Always," he promised, tightening his grip. As if
he could hold Levon in this moment and
stop the inevitable.
He felt his husband relax into his hold, though his grip didn't
loosen, then tension -- the
fear -- did fade. As Levon settled against him, hiding inside Joe's touch from the world,
it felt to Joe as if an old mantle has been raised again, settling on hi s shoulders.
He could heard Taylor's voice, telling him what it would be
like. *When it comes down to
it, you are not equals. If he feels secure that you will, when necessary, take care of
him....* Full circle, he supposed. Dominant once more.
"Back to the beginning," he muttered under his breath.
If that's what he had to do, he'd do
it. Anything for Levon. His own pain and fear could wait.
Levon shifted a bit, then looked up at him, perplexed. Joe
started to worry until he saw
the smile hiding almost successfully.
"What?" Joe demanded, feeling his own smile threatening.
"Does that mean I should have you paged?"
Joe blinked then threw back his head and laughed.
Dinner that night was, as usual, excellent. It was a mixture
of Texan barbecue and Italian
home recipes, both handed down through the generations. A mealtime tradition itself, begun
at Joe and Levon's wedding.
The chaos during dinner was a tradition as well, as dozens
of voices carried on multiple
conversations. Joe usually reveled in it, and part of him was definitely doing so this
year. But this year he found himself also slightly distanced, observing and storing up the
There, too, was the need to keep his eye on Levon. The activity
and noise had never been
easy for his husband to handle. Levon often let himself fade into the background, watching
rather than participating. This year was no different, with the exception that Joe stayed
beside him, rather than plunge headfirst into the excitement.
Most of the meal Joe was careful to keep some part in contact
with his husband. A hand, a
leg, a shoulder. He was very careful to make the touches seem casual. And not purposeful.
Levon hadn't seemed to notice, or, if he had, gave no indication
that he knew what they
meant. Regardless, they worked. Levon remained calm and collected throughout dinner, and
Joe could tell he was enjoying himself.
Finally they were finishing up the dessert course and everyone
started looking around the
table expectantly. No one said anything, of course. Finally, someone down the end of the
table clinked their water glass. All eyes turned that way.
It was Jenny. The filly looked at everyone and cleared her
throat. "I've got something I
want to tell everyone."
There were smiles everywhere of the sort you saw on grownups
who knew they had to act like
they had to take what they were about to hear seriously. Jenny gave a couple of those faces
a determined look, before proceeding with her announcement. "I'm going to be leaving the
herd when I turn 17."
Centaurs and humans alike were astonished. "We'll be
sorry to lose you," Stuart told her
Cordelia was staring at her daughter, a mix of surprise and
delight on her face. "Wha--
what are you going to be doing, Jenny?" she asked for them all.
"I'm going to go to MIT and learn to be a rocket scientist."
There was a brief moment of silence, then the room burst into
congratulations and 'you'll
be great's. Jenny stood there, grinning from ear to ear and soaking it all up, until
Levon's voice cut through the babble.
"Don't most of the rocket scientists nowadays work on
the Atlantis project?" The Atlantis
project was a space station, orbiting the earth.
She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. And that's where I wanna be!"
That announcement was met with stunned silence. Jenny looked
around the room, her
determined look wavering slightly with doubt.
"Centaurs in space. Well, somebody has to be the first,"
Levon told her, cheerfully. That
encouragement brought back her resolve, and she gave the rest of the room a 'so there'
smile. More expressions of support and encouragement came from around the table, then,
leaving Jenny beaming.
"Is that it for this year?" Stuart asked when the conversation had died down again.
"Don't we have a limit?" David asked. There was
brief laughter, then more expectant
Then someone cleared his throat. Joe looked over and felt
a shock run through him. It was
Everyone was looking at Tony, now. From the way he was shifting
nervously in his seat, Joe
knew this was serious. He groaned.
"I..um...there's something I...we...need to tell people."
Tony glanced at Taylor. The two
of them had taken up where Joe and Levon had left off in HPD, both having been promoted to
detective the year before and finally were able to partner with each other.
Levon and Joe had given them both lots of grief about it --
sometimes serious, sometimes
teasing. In the end, though, they were both proud of their boys, and glad to see them
following in their own footsteps.
Tony took a deep breath, and looked his uncles in the eye.
"You know how you made a big
deal about us following your example, when we both joined the police academy?"
"Yes..." Joe said, eyes narrowed.
Taylor was doing a remarkable job of pretending like he wasn't
listening, and yet providing
his partner with silent support. Levon had a suspicious expression on his face which
Tony glanced over at Taylor; Taylor looked back and gave him
a tiny grin. It looked just
"Oh gods." Joe heard his husband whisper.
"You're really taking this following in our footsteps
thing pretty seriously, huh?" Joe
said with forced humor.
"Well, you made it look like so much fun," Tony
replied lightly, but it was clear he'd
heard the lack of sincere enthusiasm in his surrogate father's voice. Taylor peeked over at
Joe, then Levon.
Levon's suspicious expression had grown thoughtful. The rest
of the room was still silent,
as if waiting for their judgement on the matter.
Joe looked at his husband then back at Taylor and Tony and
their half scared, half hopeful,
fully determined expressions. Remembered what it felt like to tell his own family about
Levon and how much it had hurt when his aunt and uncle hadn't accepted the m. "You two sure
about this?" he finally asked.
They both nodded. Taylor said, "We wouldn't have announced
it, if we weren't sure. We've
been talking about it for almost a year."
Before Joe could respond to that, Levon nudged him. "Excuse
us for a second," he said, then
turned to Levon.
"We oughtta say yes," his husband said quietly.
"Was just coming to that conclusion myself."
"Oh?" Levon blinked at him. "Why were you thinking it?"
"I remember what it felt like when Aunt Teresa and Uncle
Mikey wouldn't accept us. It
would've meant a lot to me if they had."
Levon nodded, then smiled. "I was thinking we'd get to
pass on Joanne's gift to someone
"Another good reason." He grinned then turned back to Taylor and Tony.
They immediately returned Joe and Levon's smiles with their
own dubious expressions.
"They're up to something," Taylor stage-whispered.
"Ya think?" Tony muttered back.
"When's the wedding?" Joe asked, still grinning.
That was all everyone else needed. The room exploded into
exclamations, people got up from their seats to go offer handshakes and hugs to the newly-
engaged pair -- even if they hadn't actually announced it, exactly.
Levon muttered under his breath, "I hope that's all."
"What, Dad, you expect me to tell you Tony got me in trouble?" Taylor asked cheekily.
Levon shot him a glare. "You're hoping I've forgotten
who got the two of you thrown in
Juvenile Hall for two weeks?"
"And even if he did forget, you didn't expect me not to remind him, did you?" Joe threw in.
Taylor opened his mouth to retort, then stopped.
"Good choice," Tony told him.
Joe grinned, then started laughing. "Yeah, you two will do."
"Thanks, Uncle Joe."
There was general merriment, then, and both Joe and Levon simply sat back and watched.
It was hot. The breeze coming in the kitchen window was gentle,
barely cutting the heat at
all. He could have turned on the air conditioner, but he preferred the smell of the grass
and the feel of the air on his face.
Joe knew his younger self would have been scandalized at the
thought of him liking Texas
summers. But over the decades they had grown on him. This was home.
The greater part of home was currently outside, running in the pasture with Shensen.
In the last month, the signs of Levon's aging had become more
obvious, a continuing
reminder of how time was slipping away from them. Joe'd been doing his best to keep a
positive attitude, trying not to dwell on his fears and anger, and he knew Levon had been
doing the same thing.
But still the tension, the knowledge was there, in every moment,
every breath, every
heartbeat. And like it or not, it colored everything they did or said. That's why seeing
Levon go out running with Shensen with a smile that wasn't the least bit forced or shadowed
had meant so much.
Joe was grateful Shensen had come out. Angie had the grandkids
with her, and that night
they were all having dinner together. Hence his cleaning the kitchen so thoroughly while
Shensen kept an eye on Levon. He hated thinking of it like that -- but that was the truth.
He had, if not accepted it, had at least come to acknowledge
it. Though it caused an ache
deep in his soul whenever he thought about it.
He tried to banish those thoughts. It was far to beautiful
a day, and so far the day had
been a good one. Not like yesterday, when Levon and he had pushed each other into an
argument, fueled by Levon's misunderstanding of what he'd forgotten, and Joe's frustrations
and fears. That had prompted the phone call to Angie, and the visit and time off for
Levon had, this morning, apparently forgotten the argument.
Or perhaps he had merely
forgiven it, and saw no reason to mention it. Joe couldn't tell anymore. And that scared
him as much as anything. It meant he was losing his ability to read Levon.
He stopped wiping the counter, hands on the counter, and stared
out the window for a
moment. The air was still hot, promised a hot, humid summer in the later weeks. The feel
of it reminded him of days spent working, sitting on stakeout or pounding the pavement,
Levon laughing and arguing with him every step of the way.
It reminded him of the first summer he was here -- hating
every second of it, hating every
part of Houston with one notable exception. It reminded him of the first summer he lived
with Levon, and how the heat and humidity had barely made an impression over the heat of
sweat-slicked bodies as they'd spent nearly every free moment they had grasping each other,
grappling and groping and making love.
That was the first summer he'd known what Levon was as well.
He had spent just as much time
exploring that, reveling in that. Going for long rides and giving his partner equally long
brushings afterwards. It had made his world so much bigger, and never s o much more than
when it had been just the two of them.
Not that he begrudged any of their lives, any of the family
and friends who had become a
daily part of them. But that first summer together... perhaps it was just age and distance
making it seem better. More romantic. When they'd had their entire live s before them,
rather than behind....
Abruptly he turned away from the window, and went back to
wiping the counter furiously.
Banishing the memories. Banishing the fear and despair.
"JOE!!" A furious shout startled him, and he heard the thundering of hooves. "JOE!!"
Shensen. Joe ran for the door, a sinking in the pit of his
stomach at the urgency in the
young centaur's voice. Shensen came pounding up to the front porch, his body heaving with
the force of hard breaths. His face was a frozen mask, his eyes wide with shock.
"Go on, he's that way," Shensen pointed back the
way he'd come. "I'll go call Doc Lia and
catch up, take you the rest of the way. GO!" And the centaur pushed past him, changing
forms as he stepped onto the porch.
Levon. Oh god. Joe took off at a blind run, panic on his heels the whole way.
He wasn't sure how far he'd gotten, he hadn't yet caught sight
of Levon when he heard
Shensen running up behind him. "Joe! Hold up!"
With an effort he stopped. "Levon-" he gasped.
Shensen pounded to a halt. "Can you get on my back?"
He was holding a hand out, going
down on one knee to lower himself for Joe to mount.
Joe quickly climbed on. "Shensen, Levon..."
"He fell. Broke his leg, at least. I'm not--" Shensen
barely paused as Joe found his
seat, before he was running, again.
Holding on as tight as he could, Joe silently urged the stallion
faster. It still wasn't
fast enough. The panic had overtaken him now. Shensen wasn't trying to calm him down or
reassure him. He didn't say a word; instead he simply ran. Finally Joe saw him -- lying
on his side in the middle of the field.
For a moment it felt like time stopped. Or maybe it was just
Joe's heart. He was sliding
off Shensen's back even before he had come to a full stop, stumbling a bit when he hit the
ground, but it barely registered. The only thing that meant anything was h is husband's
As he dropped to the ground at Levon's head, he saw his husband
open his eyes and look up
at him. It was clear on his face that he was in pain, terrible pain. But he just reached
out one hand for Joe.
Joe clasped it tightly, his other hand finding its way to
Levon's face. But he didn't say
anything. He couldn't. He heard Shensen moving, then he was kneeling beside Joe and Levon.
He rested on hand on Joe's shoulder, but didn't speak.
Levon's front leg was lying awkwardly, the break in the thigh
obvious. He was lying on his
other side -- somehow Shensen must have gotten him rolled over, getting his weight off the
break to lessen the pain from excruciating to a level that was making Levon unable to
speak, able only to stare at him in that same way he always did when hurt or exhausted
It seemed to be more than just the thigh, however. He didn't
dare touch it to be sure, but
it almost looked as if the shoulder were out of alignment as well. Joe swallowed hard
against the sudden lump in his throat. He wanted to pull his lover into his arms but
couldn't without hurting him worse. He wanted to tell him it would be all right, but the
words wouldn't come.
He was afraid they'd sound as hollow as they felt.
It seemed like forever that they sat there, none of them speaking,
none of them moving. Joe
focused on his husband's gaze, and the slow and unsteady rise of his chest as he breathed.
He only heard the approach of another centaur after Shensen
stirred. Tearing his eyes away
from Levon's he looked up to see Lia galloping up. "Please," he whispered as she changed
back and knelt beside Levon's side.
She gave him a quick look, her demeanor calm and collected.
Then she bent to examine
Levon's leg. For several long moments she gently touched and prodded, her face thoughtful.
She looked up at him, eyes serious. "It's broken, but you knew that." Then she paused.
"But it'll heal, right? He's broken it before. It healed then. It'll heal right? Right?"
There was an answer in her eyes he didn't want to see. He
didn't want to hear it, either,
but he couldn't force words out before her soft voice came again. "I've seen breaks like
this before, too often. Joe, at his age it could be months before it heals well enough to
walk on. Chances are it will never heal well enough for him to change back." She had laid
a hand on his arm, and he shook it off.
"No." He knew what was coming next and he wasn't going to listen. Wasn't going to agree.
Couldn't agree. Not to that.
"Joe," she repeated in that infuriatingly calm,
gentle manner, "He's never going to be out
of pain. It could be a year before he's able to walk, if at all. He'd have to be held up
and immobilized for months with no guarantee--"
"NO!" He bowed his head, resting it against Levon's
faded blond hair. "No," he repeated
more quietly. He wouldn't -- couldn't -- agree.
But she kept talking. Urging him to understand. "Joe,
it would be kinder. You know how he
hates being confined, being unable to walk around. We wouldn't be able to keep him free of
pain. All that would be left is holding him, trapped in a stall, until he died."
Joe shook his head, denying her words. Mouthing "No," over and over.
She waited for a moment, just looking at him. He turned away
from her, looking down at
Levon, wondering what Lia's words had done to him.
But there was no sign he had heard anything. He was still
staring up at Joe, eyes wide and
full of trust. Trust that Joe would take care of him. That Joe would make everything all
right again. That he would make the pain go away--
Trusting him to make the right decision. No matter the cost to himself.
"H-how...?" he asked falteringly, the one word feeling like a betrayal.
And a promise kept.
He could see the relief, but he heard only the same stillness
in her voice. "We can put him
to sleep. He'll feel no pain at all, and soon he'll wake up in the Elysian Fields where
the herd gone before is waiting for him."
"Without me." The words were out before he had thought them.
That brought a flicker of surprise to her face. "Joe...
I don't...." Confused, she glanced
over at Shensen.
"I would think Zeus and your God would let you be together
again," the young stallion said,
but the uncertainty was evident. "Surely they wouldn't--"
"You don't know that. And neither do I." Joe shook
his head, despair resting heavy on his
shoulders. It was more than his heart breaking. It was his soul being ripped away. He felt,
dimly, arms wrapped across his back. Mostly what he felt was the weight of Levon's head in
He couldn't let go.
"No!" he yelled, panicked, afraid they were going
to do it right then. "No, please. Not
yet. Please. I'm not- I can't-"
Someone hugged him tightly. If he listened, he could hear
a voice whispering in his ear,
but it wasn't the voice he wanted to hear. He couldn't let Levon go. Not like this. Not
with the chance of never seeing him again. Not without Levon even able to speak to him, to
"Oh, God, please, no...."
It wasn't fair. Not like this. Not without even the chance
to say a proper goodbye. He
clung harder as his mind futilely, feverishly searched for something, anything he could do
to help. Anything anyone could do to help. He wasn't ashamed to ask for assistance, not if
it could save Levon.
'Please,' he thought furiously, casting the thought out to
whoever would listen. God, Zeus,
both, neither, names didn't matter. He'd beg help of anyone who could give it. 'Please, if
you have to take him now, please let me stay with him.' He lowered his head, knowing that
no one would answer, but unable not to hope.
"I don't think I can get him into your catholic Heaven, Joey."
"Wha-?" He looked up at the unfamiliar voice.
There was a man standing there. A large man, white curly hair
and beard, smiling at him.
Standing on the other side of Levon as if he'd walked up without anyone noticing.
In fact, Lia and Shensen didn't act like they *had* noticed.
Actually, now that he looked
closer, they seemed to be...frozen.
Swallowing, Joe turned back to the man. "You're..."
He couldn't quite bring himself to say
"Yes," he nodded. "My brother told me one of
my children would be coming in today. He has
everything ready; Charon's got the big boat out." But he was looking down at Levon with a
curious expression on his face.
"He gets seasick," Joe said. He knew it was rather
stupid when the words left his mouth,
but it still seemed important that that was known.
Zeus just nodded, still smiling. "I know. I tried to
fix that, but I never could get it
right. Didn't matter at first, they weren't supposed to be leaving Greece at all." He
sighed, though he acted more like he was proud of the scope of his centaurs' expansion.
"You're going to take him away from me, aren't you?"
The smile faded slightly, and the god looked at him squarely.
"It would be cruel to leave
him like this, to suffer."
"Then take me with him!" Demanding, desperate.
"Joey, it isn't your time." Zeus gave him a steely
look which brooked no argument. "I
should warn you, if you go through with your plan to follow him, you'll find yourself worse
off. I understand your God doesn't take kindly to suicide."
Joe shrugged miserably. "Wouldn't matter what He did
to me, good or bad. Without Levon, I'm
going to be in Hell forever anyway." What was worse, he was sure Levon would feel the same
way. That haunted him more than his own pain.
"I see. Throws a wrench in the bliss of afterlife thing, doesn't it?"
Joe's head snapped up at the note of amusement in Zeus' voice.
"You think this is funny?"
he demanded angrily.
"Oh, relax, Joe. When you're as old and godlike as I
am, you learn to take everything
lightly. Well, except jokes about bulls, but that's not important at the moment." He gave
Joe a sharp look. "That is *not*, by the way, how centaurs got started. I n case you were
"I'm a little preoccupied to be wondering about that
kind of thing right now." Joe felt
stunned, unable to tell if his grief should give way to anger.
"Hm, yes. We do have a problem, then, don't we?"
Zeus folded his hands in front of him as
he looked down at Joe, then Levon. "Like I said, I don't have any authority to get him into
your Heaven. You can't die now, can't kill yourself without bollocksing it up, and I'm
certainly not going to kill you. God gets so unreasonable about that sort of thing,
"So you're saying there's nothing you can do." Despair
overwhelmed him again and he closed
his eyes. Trying to keep from starting to bawl.
"No, I'm just saying that if you're both going to come
into the Fields, you'll have to come
in together. When it's your time to die."
For a brief second hope flared anew, but it died down almost
as fast and Joe shook his
head. "You said it yourself. He's suffering. Much as I want him with me, I can't keep him
that way." His voice broke.
"He can be healed, Joey," Zeus replied, amusement
gone from his voice as he sounded more
like a kindly father than a deity with a sense of humour.
"He can?" Joe whispered. "And you will...?"
Zeus shrugged. "He'd have to be, to stay with you for
thirty more years. Wouldn't be any
point in making him hobble around--"
"Thirty more years?" He didn't --quite-- dare to believe what he was hearing.
"Oh, I'm not supposed to tell you that, am I?" But
Zeus was grinning. "Well, as long as I
haven't mentioned a specific date, I won't get into any arguments about it. You would not
believe how long some beings can keep up a debate."
"I'm married to Levon," he pointed out in response.
"So you do know." Zeus looked down at Levon again.
"Hmm. Have to fix that, too," he said
to himself, then waved a hand.
Joe felt Levon stir in his lap and he looked down into his
husband's brown eyes staring up
at him, fully aware. "Levon?" he whispered.
"Joe?" His voice was weak, and confused -- and it
was the most wonderful thing Joe had ever
Tears that hadn't come before he could now feel running down
his cheeks. "Hey cowboy," he
said, smiling so wide his face hurt.
"Remember, Joey, you'll need a coin to cross." Joe
looked up, and found that Zeus had
"Thank you," he whispered, heartfelt. Nobody had ever given him a greater gift.
"Joe?" He heard Lia ask in a confused tone.
"It's okay, Lia," he said with a grin, though he
couldn't stop himself from glancing down
into his husband's face just to make sure. Levon was still gazing up at him, still confused
as he focused on Joe. Then he blinked, and an astonished expression cam e over his face as
he looked down at his leg.
Lia gasped. "It's--" She reached out carefully and
ran her fingers over the skin. When
she looked back at Joe, her face was a mix of confusion and wonder. "How...?"
Joe tried for a light tone and almost carried it off. "Let's
just say we have friends in
high places." He felt giddy with relief and joy. He wasn't going to lose Levon. Not now,
Not even as he tried to move out of Joe's arms. As Joe reflexively
tightened his hold,
Levon gave him a quick grin. "Can I get up?" he asked.
"*Can* you get up?" Lia asked. "Your leg isn't
broken anymore," she demanded a better
"Nope," Joe agreed, beaming as he climbed to his feet and helped Levon scramble to his own.
Both Shensen and Lia stepped backwards, staring at Levon as
if he'd grown ten years younger
with no warning. Then in a thoughtful tone, Shensen asked, "Friends in high places, Joe?"
"Yeah. Very high places."
Shensen stared at him for a moment, and Joe could practically
see the gears turning in his
head. When the centaur grinned, Joe knew he'd figured it out. "I can't wait to tell
Angie." His tone was a bit soft with reverence, but the grin was pure delight as he looked
again at Levon, who was standing now impatiently indulging their stares.
"Yes, cowboy?" Joe asked, still grinning.
"I think we'd better go start planning a barbecue,"
Levon said with a perfectly straight
"A big barbecue," he agreed easily, then paused as everyone looked at *him*. "What?"
"You finally gone native on us?" Lia asked, starting
to grin though she was still taken
"Nah," Levon answered for him, as he gingerly took
a step, testing his leg. "Boy just knows
he owes someone a sacrifice. A nice hog, or goat...." His serious expression has
dissolved into mischief.
"Steaks," Joe decided, remembering the comment about bulls. "Has to be steaks."
Levon laughed. With a sudden step forward, he grabbed Joe's
arms and pulled him closer.
"Hey, you wanna go for a ride, old man?"
Joe caught, and ignored, Lia giving Shensen a pleading, perplexed
look. "I'd love to,
cowboy," he replied grinning, wrapping his arms around Levon's waist briefly before letting
go and moving to swing aboard.
As he settled in, it occurred to him -- briefly -- how long
it had been. The painful,
difficult decision they'd made that Levon could no long carry a full-sized rider was now
once again inapplicable. "Y'all hold down the fort!" Levon said to Shensen and Lia, before
breaking into a run.
It was joyous, ecstatic. Joe felt like laughing out loud,
he felt like crying in gratitude.
He settled for pressing himself tightly to Levon's back, burying his face against his
lover's shoulder as the emotions he'd been keeping under tight control for months
threatened to break loose now that the impossible had happened. He felt Levon grab his hand
and squeeze. When he looked up, he saw that the ride was going to be a short one.
They were headed right for the house.
"Have something in mind, cowboy?" he asked, unable
to keep a tremor of anticipation out of
"With or without lemon?" Joe shot back without missing a beat.
"Lemon? Joe, when have you ever known me to drink lemon
with my iced tea? Except for twice
when you weren't even around?"
"Just checking." He couldn't stop grinning at the
very typical I-have-the-memory-of-a-
centaur answer, the kind that had become non-existent the last few months.
There was silence for a moment, then in a cautious tone Levon said, "Hang on."
Joe tightened his grip. "Always."
Levon simply ran for several more yards. Joe tightened his
grip some more, knowing his
husband's sense of humor.
Levon responded by simply continuing to run. Finally decided
to just live in and cherish
the moment, Joe closed his eyes and focused on the sensations of the run.
The reflection was broken, though not disturbed, by the sound
of Levon's laughter again.
"You'd just let me, wouldn't you?"
"Whatever it was I told you to hang on for. Didn't realize
you had that much faith in my
"After today, how could I not?" His voice was low, reverent, grateful.
Levon came to a lithe stop, and twisted back to face Joe.
He didn't say anything, he didn't
need to. Joe met him halfway, and kissed him.
"Love you," he whispered when they pulled back again.
"Love you, too. Joe...I know you don't need me to say
this," he paused. He turned back
around. "So I won't." He broke into a run once more.
Joe laughed. "You can show me instead," he suggested.
The barbecue lasted well into the evening. Neither Joe nor
Levon had ended up making *any*
arrangements. When they'd emerged from their bedroom following a shower, they'd found
Shensen, Lia, Angie and the grandkids just getting back from the grocery store. Phone calls
had already been made, and an hour later people had started to arrive.
The impromptu celebration quickly hit full swing, with everyone
laughing and having fun.
The relief and amazement added a distinct flavor to the celebration. Every so often Joe
would catch someone looking at Levon with a disbelieving or awestruck gaze. H e didn't
blame them. Every now and then he'd do it himself.
Levon never seemed to notice. In a bizarre way it was like
the reunion -- everyone staring
or trying not to, Levon pretending he didn't know. But the clear sound of his voice and
the bright shine in his eyes told Joe over again that things had changed.
Finally people began to take their leave. Grandkids had started
to fall asleep in their
elder's arms, and said elders knew that Joe and Levon needed time together. Levon had
already mentioned going away for a second honeymoon.
The wonder of the situation hit Joe again at that suggestion.
He could've been mourning
Levon tonight, instead of contemplating a romantic getaway. Wordlessly he sent another
thank you up to Zeus.
A steak vanished off the grill.
"So this means we can leave the kids with your for a
week or three?" Angie asked in an
"You think we've both gone senile?" Joe teased,
then grinned and hugged her. "Give Levon
and me a chance to reconnect and then we'll take them whenever you want."
Angie's face softened, and she leaned in to lay a kiss on
Joe's cheek. "You take all the
time you need." She stepped back, then grinned. "Then we'll leave them here for a month."
He laughed. "Maybe I am senile because that sounds great."
"What sounds great?" Levon asked with a note of
suspicion in his voice. He eyed Joe and
Angie as he handed Joe a tall glass.
"Having the kids for a month." His free arm found
its way around Levon's waist without
conscious thought on his part.
"Which ones?" Levon asked without missing a beat.
"Shensen and Angie's. Though if Laurie keeps making these trips to D.C...."
"Hmm," Levon looked thoughtful.
He looked seriously thoughtful long enough for Angie to say,
"It wouldn't really be a
month. Not if you'd rather not have them."
"Well, as long as they're yours or Laurie's, I don't mind."
"We love having them, Angie." Joe grinned. "Gives Levon someone to play with."
"Me?" Levon looked at him, surprised. "Who
was it finally had to be hosed down in the
"Who was it who ganged up with the kids against me in the mud fight?"
Instantly Levon gave him a blank look. "Don't recall," he said casually.
Joe's stomach tightened as a by now familiar fear went through
him. He could feel his
expression smooth out to a mask-like calm. 'Don't be stupid,' he told himself. Levon was
just teasing. He had to be.
The blankness on his husband's face melted instantly. "Joe,
I was only--" He stopped,
grabbed Joe, and kissed him.
Joe closed his eyes as the fear and tension melted away under
his husband's touch, to be
replaced by a different, much more welcome tension.
He felt a hand run down his back, and he shivered.
"Well, I suppose we could stay and help clean up,"
he heard Angie's voice. "Or I suppose we
could just walk out, and no one would notice."
"I think we should just walk out," he heard Shensen replying.
"We could stay here," Taylor said. "There's still beer and steak."
"You don't think they'll care?" Angie sounded amused.
"I don't think they'll notice."
Unwilling to release Levon's mouth to speak, Joe just waved
in their general direction.
Angie and Shensen both knew them well enough to decipher the vague gesture into a farewell,
a thank you, and a promise to call them later.
In a few days perhaps.
"See? He's saying 'go ahead, enjoy yourselves'."
Taylor said. There was a slight thump,
then an 'oof'. "All right, all right. Geesh, your brother was right about you." Their
voices began to fade slightly, as they moved away.
Levon was still holding onto him as if he'd heard nothing. Or, more likely, didn't care.
At the moment, Joe didn't much care himself. He had Levon
alive and well in his arms. That
made most other concerns shrink into obscurity. There was another comment he didn't quite
make out, and another thump. "Ow!"
Definitely shrink into obscurity.
When they heard the sound of the vehicles' engines starting,
Levon finally leaned back.
"Alone at last." Joe grinned, rather fatuously he suspected.
Levon kissed him again, quickly. "Reckon they locked the door?"
"Does it matter?"
"Reckon we'll find out in the morning," Levon agreed.
Then he stepped back, letting his
hand slide down Joe's arm to take his husband's hand. He tugged for Joe to follow as he
headed for the hall.
Which he did willingly. "I get the feeling you want something."
"Me?" Levon looked innocent for all of two seconds.
Then his gaze turned smoky, and he
raked Joe's body with a slow glance.
Joe felt a shiver go through him at that gaze. "Yeah,"
he answered, voice gone low and
Slowly, Levon nodded. "S'what I want."
He let his own gaze rove over his husband's form. "Show me?"
There was the tiniest of pauses, and he saw a smile trying
to fight its way free as Levon
titled his head to one side. "I could probably draw a picture for you."
"I was thinking a more...practical demonstration."
"Can't you think of better things to do with your hands?"
Taking another step backwards down the hall, Levon didn't
answer. His smile, mischief
fading from it once more, said enough.
"I'll take that as a yes." He felt himself grinning
again as he continued to follow Levon
towards their bedroom.
Levon continued backwards another couple of steps before turning
around. Joe didn't mind;
he liked this view as well as the other. He said as much, enjoying the falter in Levon's
stride at the words.
When he reached the bedside, Levon stopped again and turned.
He looked at Joe with a
serious expression, as his husband stepped into an embrace. "Feels...."
"Feels like what?" He knew what it felt like to
him: heady relief and joy and arousal. A
second chance, a new beginning, first day of the rest of their lives. Cliches all, but ones
"Like that first week you were staying here. Not when
you moved in, but the first time you
were here every night. We knew each other already, but I was still scared you were gonna
turn around and go, if things didn't go just right." He shook his head, sharply. "I ain't
worried, I ain't scared I'm gonna lose this," he said, tracing a finger along Joe's face.
"I just feel like... this is all brand new, like nothing I've had before." He looked up at
Joe, and his eyes, darkened though they were with the passion smoldering inside, were clear
and full of wonder. Maybe even a little concern. "I've never owed my life to my god,
before," he finished in a nearly inaudible whisper.
"A bit scary isn't it?" Joe asked, still feeling
the awe and disbelief he had when Levon
had first been healed.
Levon nodded. He took ahold of Joe's shirt at the waist, hanging
on instead of wrapping
his arms more comfortably around Joe. "The scary thing is," he began. He gave a half-
laugh, and gave Joe a lop-sided smile, "is that we don't owe him a thing."
"Aside from the occasional steak." He smiled back
then grew more serious, leaning forward
until their foreheads touched. "I would've paid almost anything if I'd had to."
He felt his husband's grip tighten instantly. He didn't say anything at first, however.
"Levon?" Joe asked, knowing there was something his lover wanted to say.
Then he sighed, and looked him in the eye. "I wish I
could tell you that some prices
aren't worth it. But I can't tell you I'd wanna live past you dying, either. I just hate
to think that my dying would have meant you would, too."
"You knew?" Joe supposed he should have felt surprised, but he didn't.
"You really thought I wouldn't know?"
"Guess I should have known better, huh? I had hoped,
though." He reached out and caressed
Levon's cheek as he searched for the words for his feelings. "I didn't want you to think --
to worry... I didn't want to have that hanging over us."
"Well, now it won't be," Levon said decisively.
He moved his hands behind Joe's back,
pulling Joe closer. The conversation seemed to be over.
Joe smiled, feeling a bit of the awe come back. "No,
it won't." All that was in the past.
They would have each other. For the rest of their lives and beyond.
"Doesn't mean I'm gonna wait patiently any longer,"
Levon said, his voice almost -- but not
quite -- simply full of amusement and love.
"What's stopping you, cowboy?" Joe teased.
Startled, Levon asked, "*I* have to do all the work?"
But he started unbuttoning Joe's
"Figured I'd let you get a head start before your brain turns off."
"You always say that." Levon removed Joe's shirt and dropped it on the floor.
"Must be a reason then." He grinned and reached for the buttons on Levon's shirt.
But Levon shook his head. "Don't think so, because you
never *let* me get a head start
before you shut my brain off." He rested his hands on Joe's hips, hooking his thumbs inside
"My powers of resistance aren't up to holding back for
long." He pushed Levon's shirt off
his shoulders, letting it slide down his arms and off.
"So you might as well...save yourself...time...."
Levon's words grew more slurred as Joe
slid his hands back up Levon's arms, across his stomach towards the fly of his jeans.
Undoing it, Joe leaned in and whispered in his husband's ear,
"You want to take me? Or me
to take you?"
Levon nodded. He reached for Joe, kissing him hard.
There goes the brain, Joe thought fondly, before he gave up
thinking as well. Feeling was
more than enough at the moment. Without breaking the kiss, he managed to maneuver them over
to the bed and onto it.
They bounced slightly as they landed, and Levon grinned at
him. "Gotcha." Then he yelped,
and grabbed for Joe's hand. "Careful with that!"
"What -- afraid it'll come off?" he teased, nipping
at Levon's throat. He felt laughter
bubbling up inside at the pure joy that he was basking in.
"Afraid it'll come too soon," Levon corrected. He
held Joe close, however, wriggling
eagerly beneath him.
"What happened to all that centaur staying power?" He reached once again for Levon's pants.
"Don't know," was Levon's only rejoinder -- obviously
unable to spare the thought to think
of anything clever. His hands were fumbling at Joe's pants.
And all they were doing was getting in each other's way. The
laughter finally overflowing,
Joe pulled away a little. "Maybe we should each take off our own if we want to get
undressed some time this year."
Levon grabbed him quickly, and his eyes focused a little. "Stay here."
"Hey." Joe's laughter immediately faded and he caught
and held his husband's gaze. "I'm not
going anywhere." Ever, he added silently.
Levon met his gaze silently for a moment before finally nodding.
"Sorry. Wasn't thinking
clearly." He half-grinned.
"You'd think by now I would've learned to not turn your
brain off until we're both naked,"
Joe teased, letting his expression show the more serious emotions: love and reassurance.
"Nah, gets boring." Levon pulled him down for a
quick kiss, then began kissing Joe's chin,
working his way down Joe's throat.
"We're still not -- do that again -- undressed,"
he protested, even as he tilted his head
back, giving Levon better access.
Levon complied, with the 'do that again' part, anyhow. He
kept on doing it, interspersing
the touch with caresses and nibbling. He began pushing himself upwards against Joe,
turning Joe over onto his back and lying on top of him.
And Joe was reveling in it. It had been months since Levon
had been the aggressor in their
lovemaking, since he'd started declining, and Joe hadn't let himself admit how much he had
missed it until now that he had it back.
Perhaps Levon knew; perhaps he simply wanted this and wasn't
feeling up to being patient
about it. Whatever the motivation, Joe groaned happily as Levon's hands began stripping
him quickly, giving lie to the claim that he couldn't do so.
Levon's mouth was following his hands, now, as energetically
as a man much younger. 'Maybe
I should've asked Zeus for more energy for myself,' he thought giddily, as he arched up
under his husband's touch, hands going to Levon's blond hair.
Then he reflected that he didn't really need it. All he seemed
expected to do was lie
there and groan. Since Levon knew damn well that doing what he was doing rendered Joe
unable to do anything but.... Levon moved; Joe groaned again.
He lost his train of thought soon after that and what thoughts
he did have were suddenly
coming out of his mouth in between less articulate sounds. He could feel the steady, firm
grip of his husband's hands on his waist. He could feel the hot, wet touch of his
husband's mouth. He heard a low chuckle, but was barely able to wonder at its purpose as
the vibrations the laughter caused hit his groin, then the center of his brain.
Joe yelled, arching up almost violently. He was suddenly on
the verge of losing it.
"Levon," he panted, trembling as he struggled to hang onto his control. "Gonna..."
But control wasn't necessary. Wasn't even desired. At least
that's what Levon's hands
were telling him, touching him over and over in that same, maddening way. He heard
something, faintly, spoken in his husband's voice.
He looked down, finding Levon watching him with a heated gaze.
That was all it took. With a
violent thrust upward and an incoherent yell, Joe came.
When he opened his eyes again, Levon had moved up to lie on
him, staring face to face.
Grinning like a fool, more like, as Joe's thoughts regained coherency.
"You're looking pleased with yourself." He reached
up a hand that was still trembling with
reaction and brushed Levon's hair back off his forehead.
"Am." Levon kissed the hand as it moved away again.
Joe felt the deep breath that Levon took, his stomach pressing
into Joe's. Then he felt the
tremble that presaged a laugh. "What's so funny?"
"You are." Levon kissed his nose. "Don't even know what you said, I bet."
Joe blinked, vaguely remembering babbling as his husband was
turning his brain inside out.
"Um," he said intelligently.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Tell ya what," Levon
scooted up a bit, shifting them so Joe
could feel him, still hard and fully aroused. "Why don't we switch places and I won't tell
you about it."
He grinned. "I think that can be arranged." With
a sudden surge upwards he rolled them over
until Levon was laying beneath him.
He watched as Levon's eyes glazed over, though his grin didn't alter an inch. "Joe...."
Joe's grin faded into something more serious, though still
a smile. "I love you, Levon," he
whispered, then captured his husband's mouth in a long passionate kiss.
"I--" Then Levon was as incoherent as Joe knew he had been.
Incoherent but not quiet. A steady stream of pleas and groans
rewarded his efforts at
exploring every inch of his husband's skin. He seemed to grow louder as Joe progressed, and
he wondered if the "Joe..ga.." was supposed to be an encouragement or direct ion.
Either way it was music to Joe's ears. He loved making Levon
like this, making him feel
this way. The fact he had almost never had the chance to do this ever again was heavy in
his mind, turning every caress, every tease, into an act of worship.
That, perhaps, was what he owed the deity responsible. Treasure the gift he'd been given.
Make his gift come, before he hurt himself.
He stopped teasing and proceeded to do just that, lifting
his eyes to watch Levon's face in
those final seconds. For a moment he was frozen in that facade of pain, face tense and
muscles stretched. Then he relaxed, slowly at first then his breath explode d out in a
great rush. He watched as his husband lay still for a moment before he opened his eyes --
"Did I ever tell you how annoying that is?" Joe asked.
He wasn't as annoyed as he pretended to be though. A...more
human recovery time had been
another symptom of Levon's decline. To see his husband back to his normal -- if annoying --
centaur self meant more than he could ever verbalize. Levon was looking back at him,
innocently. Joe snorted. "You want me to go to sleep instead of ravish you again?"
"I think you might be overestimating *my* recovery powers,"
Joe replied as he slid up to
lay beside Levon, their faces mere inches apart.
Levon chuckled. "I can't practice, then?" He gave
Joe a slow kiss before letting him
"I love you." The words were spoken at the same time they were thought, as they were felt.
"Love you, too," Levon replied. Joe found himself
smiling at the feelings his husband's
words stirred inside. Words said a million times or more, but felt no less. "Is that a
'yes'?" a dry voice interrupted his thoughts of bliss.
"Huh?" Joe enjoyed himself for a moment, simply
watching how his husband lost himself in
delighted laughter. Even if said laughter was at his own expense. By the time Levon had
calmed down, he had remembered the question. "Don't let this go to your head , cowboy, but
you don't need much practice."
"Was trying to let it go to *your* head," Levon
replied. But Joe saw the acknowledgment of
the compliment, reflected in Levon's eyes.
"You know what I really want to do right now?"
"First I want to go for a run. Then I want to brush you
into a puddle and when you recover,
I want you to nail me to the mattress." Joe grinned. "*Then* I want to cuddle."
Levon blinked. "But it's nearly dusk."
"You saying you're too tired?"
Levon started to reply, then stopped. He nodded, and pushed
himself upright. "Let's go
"What were you going to say?" Joe asked, sitting up more slowly.
"You normally only wanna go for a run at this time of
day when one of us.. needs it." He
shrugged. "If one of us needs it, then let's go."
Joe's gaze dropped. "I've just...I've missed it."
Levon leaned back towards Joe, looming over him briefly before
moving in to snuggle close.
"Come on, then. We got time for a short run."
He pulled Levon to him briefly for a kiss before letting go
and getting up. "Guess that
would qualify as one of us needing it," he admitted with a wry smile as he pulled on a pair
of jeans. His husband gave him a dry look as he fastened them. "What?"
"You sure you need those?"
Joe glanced down at his attire, then back up at Levon, with a raised eyebrow.
Levon shrugged unrepentantly. He did, however, continue to
keep a watchful eye on the
"The jeans stay, cowboy." He reached out for Levon's
hand. His husband just laughed, and
pulled Joe after him, down the hall.
The sun was almost to the horizon when they stepped out into
the yard. Levon gave him a
quick kiss and stepped backwards to change. His expression never wavered as he just looked
Joe just stared back, once again strongly reminded what he
could've been doing at that
moment if Zeus hadn't intervened. He relished the sight of his husband whole and healthy,
standing in front of him.
"Well?" Levon's question startled him, a moment later.
"Huh?" He shook himself out of his preoccupation.
"You gettin' on, or you just gonna take in the view?"
The tone and expression had melted
into fond understanding. Joe blushed.
"Sorry," he muttered, coming forward and taking Levon's hand to help boost himself astride.
When he was settled onto Levon's back, however, his husband
didn't move. Levon turned his
head back, to look at Joe. He considered for a moment, then his face broke into a smile.
"What?" Joe asked, but couldn't keep himself from smiling back.
"Love you," was all he got.
Joe felt his heart go soft at that. 'Mushy,' Tony used to
call it when he was young. "Love
you," he replied softly.
Without anything further, Levon turned and headed towards the fields.
Joe laughed out loud when he realized what they were doing.
In a tone of voice that clearly
said he thought his husband was nuts, Levon asked, "Joe?"
"I should've known if I stayed in Texas long enough this would happen."
Joe grinned. "Us riding off into the sunset together."
Levon snickered. "Here I thought the truck ten years ago was the last thing."
"Nah. That was just proof of insanity on my part."
"You picked out the colour," Levon reminded him.
"Brought up the new hybrid instead of the
old fuel cell engine."
"You asked me what color, I just answered. And you would've got the new hybrid anyway."
"Uh-huh. And the suede seats?"
"Can't fault me for trying to upclass it a little."
He grinned, enjoying the banter that
had been sadly lacking in their lives lately.
"You saying my other trucks were low-class?" Levon
teased, a mischievously dangerous edge
in his voice.
He shook his head. "Quintessential Texan."
There was a thunderous silence, following that. Joe grinned. "Love you, cowboy."
There was another pause. Then, in a distracted tone, "Still
trying to think of a retort
that doesn't involve you, me, and things that'll make my brain shut off."
Joe chuckled again. "Take your time, Levon. I can wait."
They ran a few moments, before Levon came to a stop and looked
over his shoulder. His eyes
were already half-glazed. "You were gonna brush me?"
"Yeah." He reached out and caressed Levon's cheek,
still smiling. "You want me to?"
Teasingly. There was time for that now, too.
Levon blinked. His eyes cleared, and he suddenly began laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"Joe, in the last twenty five years, ten months and four
days, have I ever -- more than
four times -- refused a brushing?"
"Stupid question, huh?"
Levon replied by turning around and breaking into a gallop.
Joe held on tight, his laughter trailing behind them as they rode out of the sunset.
Joe rolled over in bed, reaching out and dragging a warm,
pliant body towards him. He
couldn't tell if said body was awake or not, but it hardly mattered since he, himself, was
barely awake. Awake enough to realize he'd stopped snuggling at some point.
But as he lay there, he found himself waking. Levon was curled
up against him tightly, the
heat of his body contrasted with the cool breeze generated by the fan overhead. It was
going to be a hot one, he thought. At least until they got out of bed.
The chances of that happening anytime soon... were a lot better
than he wanted to admit.
Love and lust were almost enough, but even with his renewed health, neither Levon nor he
had the energy of young men.
That didn't bother Joe as much as he once thought it would've.
He found he didn't mind
getting older, as long as he was getting older *with* Levon.
As he did every morning, he sent up a silent thank you to
Zeus for his gift. Then he opened
his eyes and looked at his husband.
Sound asleep. And after twenty five years, he *could* tell when Levon was faking.
He looked wonderful, Joe realized. All the lines of stress
were gone, smoothing his face;
all his muscles were limp and relaxed. He looked exactly like the cat curled up sideways
on his leg.
Joe hadn't realized how much the stress had lingered even
in Levon's sleeping features when
things had been...going downhill. Not until it had disappeared. He kissed a shoulder and
leaned back a bit, so he could watch.
Levon and Robelo slept on, unaware of the attention. Joe was
settling in to stay the
morning that way, when he realized what had woken him -- Levon getting back into bed.
He opened his eyes again and propped himself up on one elbow,
staring down at his husband
once again, this time a bit suspiciously. But Levon was genuinely asleep. Whatever he'd
done...hadn't kept him awake.
Maybe he'd just needed to make a trip to the bathroom. He
laid back down again, though a
part of him was still being wary.
He settled back in to the pleasure of watching his husband
sleep. It didn't take long
before Levon began to stir, however. He rolled a bit in Joe's arms, face turning towards
Joe as if seeking a good morning kiss before conscious thought could direct him.
Although granted, Levon looking for kisses without conscious
thought was nothing unusual.
And as he almost always did when his husband sought a kiss, Joe granted it, taking his time
and making a thorough job of it.
When he was done Levon was awake -- at least his eyes were
open and he was smiling. Joe
returned the smile and headed in for another kiss -- which was forestalled by a hand on his
chest. Levon gave him an apologetic look. "Remember all those chores we've been saying
we'd do, instead of staying in bed all morning..for the past three days?"
"Don't want to go for four in a row?" Joe joked.
"I don't mind, myself," Levon replied with an innocent
expression Joe knew all too well.
"The cats are gonna get a might irritated, though, if they have to dig through any more
layers of dishes to reach the sink."
Joe relented, holding up his hands. "Okay, okay. We'll
spend the morning doing chores
instead of cuddled together in bed."
Levon grinned, but didn't move.
"You're not moving."
"Aren't I?" Levon moved...closer.
"Not towards the dirty dishes at least." He grinned. "Change your mind?"
Closing his eyes, Levon said, "I'm waitin' for you."
Joe leaned in closer, brushing his lips lightly over his husband's.
Levon's eyes popped open. "I'm gonna have to try harder,
aren't I?" He sighed. "One of us
has to be responsible, here." He glanced down at his leg. "Wanna nominate her?"
The cat blinked sleepily up at them then turned and licked her shoulder.
"I seemed to recall giving up being dominant years ago.
That means I don't have to be the
responsible one, Mr. Ex-Herd Stallion."
"Yeah? Well, as *Ex* Herd Stallion, I don't have to,
either." He nudged Joe in the chest.
"As a member of the dominant species, you should set a good example."
Joe snorted. "Anything other useless thing you want me to do?"
"Yeah. Sweep out the barn."
"And what are you going to be doing, cowboy?"
Levon sighed. "The dishes." He rolled onto his back, letting go of Joe.
He looked so wonderful lying there that Joe had to steal another
kiss. His husband let him,
for a moment. Then he heard a 'hrmm' and felt a hand pushing -- very, very gently -- at
his chest. "Chores, right," Joe muttered.
"Look at it this way: the sooner we get 'em done, the
sooner we'll get interrupted by
something else before we can get back in here."
Levon dodged just in time to avoid being struck by the pillow.
"Fine, fine," Joe grumbled, and got out of bed,
heading for the dresser to grab some
clothes. He knew Levon was watching, and made no mention of it until he realized his
husband was still lying on the bed. "Hey, cowboy, if I have to get up, so do you." H e
threw a pair of Levon's jeans at him.
He ignored the jeans, letting them fall onto the bed. "I'm
getting up! I just figured
since I don't need to put clothes on, I could wait a couple of minutes."
Joe just gave him a look perfected in raising two kids.
"Just two more minutes?" Levon whined, in a tone perfected in raising those same two kids.
Joe just kept on staring.
With a grin, Levon caved and got out of bed. The cat mered
at him angrily, then stretched,
long and hard. She went over to Joe's pillow, turned in a circle, then laid down in the
center of it.
Levon watched her, then said, "Reckon you have to stay outta bed, now."
"Could just take your side." He pulled a shirt on and stole one more kiss.
"You could, but then were would I be?" Levon was
pulling his jeans on, pausing long enough
for the kiss.
"On top of me?"
Levon gave him a not-so-gentle shove towards the door. "Barn.
Else I'm gonna throw you
down and we'll *never* get anything done today."
He didn't sound as if he minded, but he was frowning slightly
in that way that said he was
almost feeling guilty for letting the chores go so long.
Joe had to admit they had been letting things slide just a
bit. "You can throw me down
As he followed Joe out of the bedroom, Levon said with a tone
of sincere surprise,
"If I don't throw you down first," Joe tossed back
over his shoulder with a wink and a
For that, he got another shove down the hall.
Joe managed to get outside without being stopped for anymore
kissing -- after the three
stops in the hallway -- and headed for the barn.
With Levon's divine recovery, they'd realized they could handle
having horses again. Levon
had never been without at least one horse, and giving the last two away had bothered Levon
more than he'd tried to let Joe realize.
So a week after Zeus's visit, Joe had brought up the idea
of getting a couple of horses.
Levon had enthusiastically agreed and they had made arrangements to buy a couple of horses
off of Shensen and Angie. They were being delivered in a couple of days.
Which is why Joe was heading out to sweep hay. They had to
have the barn ready for the new
animals. They'd had to argue with Angie and Shensen about actually paying for the horses.
Joe and Levon had pointed out they could well afford to pay for them; Angie and Shensen had
pointed out they could well afford to give them as gifts. The argument had gone nowhere
until Shensen said he felt bad about charging his own family money, Levon had offered to
'pay' them with babysitting duty.
Two minutes later Angie had a couple horses picked out, and
was making arrangements to
leave town for a long weekend.
Joe grinned at the memory, looking forward to having the grandkids
underfoot for a couple
of days. Right now, though, he needed to clean the barn so he could go back inside and
enjoy *not* having kids underfoot.
He grabbed the broom as soon as he stepped inside the barn
and began sweeping the hay from
the middle of the floor.
Suddenly he saw something that wasn't supposed to be there.
Something that *hadn't* been
there yesterday. A box, brightly wrapped in Christmas paper, adorned with a silver bow.
So that's where his husband had been this morning. And why
he'd been harping on doing
chores. "Levon..." He shook his head and chuckled as he leaned over and picked up the box.
He was suddenly struck with a sense of deja vous. He'd seen this before, in a dream, years
Or at least he thought it was a dream. Now, suddenly, he wasn't
so sure. Maybe there really
had been Christmas Spirits.
At least he was going to finally see what was in the damned box.
He stifled the urge to turn around and see if his younger
self was standing there. Instead,
he opened the box. And couldn't stifle a laugh at what laid inside. A hat.
A cowboy hat.
There was a note tuck into the brim; he pulled it out, already
knowing what it was going to
say. ""Put this on, take everything else off and come back inside." He read aloud, then
stared down at the hat again.
Chores. Yeah, right. That sneaky....
He chuckled, and turned to head back to the house. If he knew
Levon, his husband would
already be waiting for him...undressed, ready, and glassy-eyed.
"Levon?" he called out when he stepped through the door.
"Yeah?" came the call back -- from the kitchen.
The casual tone wasn't quite there,
however. Glassy eyed, no doubt.
"You lose something in the barn?"
"Might have," came the suggestive reply.
Joe stopped in the kitchen door, leaning against the door
jam. "What was with the Christmas
Levon grinned at him. "Couldn't find anything else."
He was, as Joe suspected, naked. The
dishes were already done; the kitchen was cleaner than it had been all week. When he
caught sight of Joe, his face smoothed into blankness. "Didn't fit?"
"Haven't tried it on yet." He grinned, took a step
forward and set the box on the table,
then began undressing.
He heard Levon drop something, and didn't bother to glance down to find out what.
When he was naked, Joe reached out and picked up the hat.
"You know the Christmas paper
really through the Spirits for a loop. It's not nice to confuse them." He put the hat on.
"Spirits?" Levon sounded a bit dazed.
Joe laughed. "I'll explain later." He stepped forward, reaching for his husband.
But Levon didn't come forward, right away. He stayed back,
looking Joe up and down.
Finally he smiled wide. "Figured."
"You look like a Yankee with a hat on." Then he
stepped forward into Joe's arms, tilting
his face upwards, and kissed him beneath the brim.
"Probably because that's what I am." He grinned,
kissed Levon back and moved the hat to his
"Hate to tell you this," Levon said in between two
more lengthening kisses. "You ain't been
a Yankee for a long time," he whispered, and wrapped his arms around Joe.
"Them's fighting words," Joe whispered back, then leaning in for another kiss.
Life was good.